Relationships

10 Things All Men Eventually Apologize For, No Matter How Nice We Are

Dylan M Howell Photography

Sometimes, as men, we get in over our heads whenever we choose a lady in an attempt to get serious. We will go into something with the best of intentions, but circumstances may force things to become a little tricky.

Many of us are wrapped up in our careers and trying to build a life we deem appropriate. This can lead to some static in our love lives... for various reasons.

Also, we've been through things ourselves. Contrary to popular(ish) belief, we're really not as emotionally strong as you guys (women) are. We struggle with the baggage of our past experiences as we try to make sense of the future.

Add love to the equation, and life's currents become all the more difficult to navigate. On behalf of well-intentioned men everywhere, bear with us.

To my future or current girlfriend, I offer my most sincere apologies for the following:

1. You probably already have your shit together because I tend to set my sights too high.

They say you are a direct reflection of the people around you. So, I'm humbled you saw something in me that might not be apparent to the naked eye.

I definitely saw something in you. It was probably more apparent.

You're soaring through life, crushing it, and I love it. You represent a direct reflection of the person I know I can be.

The problem is, I'm still getting there. Thank you for understanding.

2. I don't give you the time you deserve.

I'm probably playing catch up in some form or fashion. You know the old adage about woman maturing faster than men: It might be true.

At least, it is in my case. So now, I'm out here headfirst, wrapped up in my career and business, trying to get where I need to be.

Surely you understand.

3. I have a checkered past.

We all do, though. If you feel the need to ask me about my past, I'll afford you honest answers.

If by any chance I feel the need to ask you about yours, I would hope for the same honesty. I would expect understanding on both ends.

4. I don't compliment you enough.

You're beautiful beyond words. You deserve the world. There just aren't enough words for your awesomeness.

I try to compliment you as much as possible, but I always feel like I'm under compensating.

5. I compliment you too much.

It can probably be a little overwhelming at times. Forgive me, but I think you're the shit.

Even though (per the previous bullet point) I don't feel like I say it enough, you still probably get tired of it.

What can I say? Pardon me.

6. Stability is still a way away.

Look, I'm set on you: You're the one.

That much, I'm sure of. However, we might be at two different points in our lives.

I'm looking to keep growing both personally and with you. I'm good now, but I'm nowhere near where I need to be.

Maybe I'll never get to a point of true equilibrium on that front.

But I go hard every day to be in a better position than I was the day before. That point of stability, in order to maintain a traditional family, is still quite hard for me to fathom at this point.

I do apologize (assuming that's what you want).

7. I tend to withdraw myself from time to time.

Don't take it personally: It's just that I was solo for so long, I started to cherish my solitude a bit more than most.

From time to time, I still need my solace. I'm not going through anything: I've just really come to cherish my "me time."

8. I'm still a bit scarred from my past.

I'm not bitter or stuck on anyone... not by a long shot. I've made peace with my past, and I pray you have too.

However, we are shaped by our experiences: both good and bad. We do not, however, have to be a product of said experiences.

I still have lingering trust and abandonment issues. This does not mean I'll go through your phone and interrogate you about where you've been: There's no time or place for any of that.

What it does mean, however, is I'm probably extremely hesitant to fully open up to you or give you my all emotionally.

I'm not here to make you pay for the past sins of others. Instead, I just want to make sure WE turn out better than our past relationships.

9. I don't have the answers.

My 20s were interesting: I went through quite a bit of shit, and I learned a lot.

But I still don't have all the answers. I don't have it all figured out, and I'm not interested in pretending I do.

Hopefully, you're just as open minded as I am, and we can figure this shit out together.

10. I'm not the same guy I once was.

Sorry, not sorry: I was once a lovestruck (and perhaps overly passionate) youth in my early 20s. The passion is still there, but I tend to channel it differently.

Perhaps I'm not as romantic: That may be a byproduct of growth more than anything else.

I also had more time in the past... at least, I thought I did. I had the time and energy to invest in being the best mate possible.

As I previously alluded to, my past has shaped me into being a bit more standoffish and hardened. My blissful naivety has all but disappeared completely.

My heart is still the same, though. I hope I do enough for you to see that.

On the flip side, I've grown, and I'm a lot better a man than I ever was. I'm sure you'll appreciate that.