Why You're The One To Blame For Your Trust Issues And How To Fix It

by Sierra Paige Dennis

Trust is a five-letter word that means everything.

It takes years to build, and seconds to destroy.

In our generation, trust is something that seems to be diminishing with time. We have trust issues due to past relationships or friendships that didn’t go so well, so we take them with us and add to the baggage we already carry.

Why? Well, we don’t have to operate based on faith anymore; we can easily see what everyone is doing these days. We don’t want to let our guards down because we don’t want to be vulnerable.

We would rather keep walls up instead of hopping over them to explore. We constantly compare ourselves to the next person’s life.

If someone we like likes another person's Instagram picture, we automatically assume the worst and withdraw from the person.

If a friend goes out with other people and we see a tag, we instantly get mad at the friend for going without us. We have amazing ideas, but see other people's successes and say, "There’s no way that could be me."

In the end, we create our own damn trust issues. Here's why:

We Assume.

We assume everyone will hurt us. Maybe you’ve been hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend, and can’t take the pain of that again.

So with any little mishap, we assume it to be the worst and instantly say, “f*ck it.” It's not healthy.

In order to live a happy, fulfilled life, it's important to stop assuming and take chances. If in the long run you constantly assume the worst, it's probably because you feel that way on the inside.

Therefore, if you instantly go make assumptions, you need to re-evaluate why before moving on.

We Sabotage.

Yes, we sabotage our own happiness. How? In many ways, we don’t even recognize.

I have a coworker who had the guy of her dreams. He treated her better than any man she ever met, but eventually, the fling faded because he couldn’t handle her trust issues.

The only thing she could say was, “Well, at least I won’t have to deal with BS in the long run.”

But what if there was no BS? What if this guy would have been everything? We would rather not deal with being let down, so we simply sabotage what could be. We have cons for every pro we name and we continually lean toward the negative.

We Don’t Let Go of The Past.

The past is called the past for a reason. It happened, and there is ultimately nothing we can do about it. But, for some reason, it seems like a hard thing to let go of for some people.

If we let our pasts define our futures, we will never get ahead. Continually going back to what happened can keep you from seeing what is happening.

We Don’t Trust Ourselves.

This is just the simple truth. If you can’t find the faith to trust in other people, it’s because you know deep down that you can’t trust yourself.

You don’t believe you can handle a failed relationship or business venture, which is why you would rather stay in a box or be single.

Life is all about lessons and more lessons. You can’t learn if you are not willing to try and risk certain things. You cannot predict the future and what will happen, so why allow it to affect what you are doing?

Do what you want in the moment, and actually trust your judgment for once. We don’t have the answers to the future, so why play a guessing game?

If someone screws you over, will you be able to pick yourself up and recover? If you trust yourself, I’m sure you will. Learn to completely trust yourself, and watch the world in which you live evolve.