How To Handle Running Into Your Ex At A Party, As Told By The VMAs
The VMAs are coming up this weekend. And, as with any award show, I can't wait to watch the DRAMA I'm sure will unfold.
Of course, there's your standard Taylor Swift/Kanye West type fiasco. But the sort of drama that's always interested me the most is the ~romantic~ kind (surprise, surprise I write about dating for a living).
Or what about Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris? I mean, I know that was a while ago, but that wound's still gotta be pretty fresh.
What... is Calvin supposed to just come give Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston a big old group hug?! I don't get it. So much drama.
Celebrities are just normal people like us (who just so happen to be insanely beautiful and ~sometimes~ extremely talented). There's no doubt in my mind they get nervous at the thought of running into their exes too.
Personally, I hate the idea of it. That's why I try to stay friends with anyone I've ever even remotely been with.
But, on the other hand, I think running into an ex could be a great excuse to just look smoking hot and go balls to the wall, full-fledged nuts.
Read these tips to master the art of running into an ex, as told by the VMAs.
1. Go out of your way to ignore him all night.
Make sure he sees you. But DO NOT engage.
2. Actually have fun.
Don't pretend to have fun. Actually go there and have the time of your life. It'll show.
3. Come with reinforcements.
Come with a fun squad. Don't bring your lame friend who has a couple glasses of champagne and starts crying.
4. Wear something he hated and make it look so hot.
Maybe he hated when you wore heels that made you taller than he is. Then wear your highest sky-scraper heels that make your legs look like a Victoria's Secret angel.
Or maybe he just couldn't stand when you put your hair up. Then wear your hair in the sexiest updo he's ever seen.
You get the picture.
5. Have one tequila shot to make you feel sexy and ready to fiesta.
Just one, though. We want sexy party vibes, not puking on the toilet with eyeliner running halfway down your face.
6. ...And three glasses of champagne to make you classy, bitchy and fabulous.
Never be around without one in your hand.
7. Make sure you smell effing delicious.
And walk all over the place so your scent is wafting everywhere. Mark your territory like an ANIMAL.
8. Wear fake eyelashes.
They make anyone hotter.
9. Wear something you wouldn't normally wear just to fuck with him.
If you normally wear kind of conservative outfits with neutral colors, wear something slutty and BRIGHT. Just mess with his head a little.
10. Start some drama with at least three guys before attending the event.
Make yourself look interesting and exciting.
11. Have at least two booty calls on tap.
Just to ensure you don't wind up going home drunk with him.
12. Wear tall heels and a bright color.
...so he literally cannot miss you.
13. Make friends with the bartender and the bouncer before the event.
That way you'll look so cool and VIP when he sees you skip the line to the bar only to have your signature drink waiting for you right there.
14. When he approaches you, be SO nice, but in a cold distant way.
Engage in about three minutes of super friendly surface level small talk and then get distracted talking to someone else. Trust me.