Tinder is pretty intuitive. You swipe right on people who swipe right on you, send messages back and forth, and hopefully end up on a date. There’s zero tech savviness required. But there’s one thing the dating app can’t tell you, and that’s how to know it’s time to exchange numbers on Tinder. Even if you’re not quite ready for that first date yet, there usually comes a time when app messaging gets old, and moving your communication off an app and directly to your phone signifies that you’re ready (and wanting) something more. If you’re not sure how to ask for a girl's number on Tinder or how to give a guy your number online, then I've got some tips to help you out.
According to life coach Nina Rubin, you want to be wary of exchanging numbers with a Tinder match too soon, as it could send the wrong message. “Sometimes, people exchange numbers too fast, which leads to sending photos early on," she tells Elite Daily. "This can get overly sexual too soon, turning daters into friends with benefits situations.” That’s perfect if you’re looking for a physical connection, but if you’re seeking romance, you might try a different tactic.
So, how soon is too soon? And when’s the right time to exchange numbers? Here are some signs that it may be time to offer your digits.
Your Match Asks A Lot Of Questions
The best one-on-one conversations are a two-person effort. Rather than an interview, your Tinder conversations should feel like an even exchange of information, and if someone is seriously engaged in a convo, then they’ll likely ask you lots of questions to keep it flowing. “If someone makes statements that don't beg a response, that's a pretty good sign they're not into you,” Traci Brown, body language expert and author of Persuasion Point, previously explained to Elite Daily. “People will ask questions or send messages that require a response if they're into you.”
A conversation between two enthusiastic participants is always more enjoyable. If you find that you’re genuinely enjoying your banter back-and-forth (and suspect your match feels the same way), then go ahead and suggest you take things to texting.
You’re Afraid Your Convo Might Fizzle Out
Sometimes, you end up Tinder-ghosting a promising match simply because you forgot you were chatting with them. Because you’re communicating through an app, conversations sometimes slip through the cracks, and if you don’t want a good match getting lost in your inbox (or vice versa), then it may be time to take things off the app. As Golden previously told Elite Daily, “...people get busy and the conversations lose momentum. Once it flatlines, it’s hard to resurrect [the spark].”
Though lagging responses may indicate disinterest, you can usually tell if someone is into the convo — but simply doesn’t check their Tinder messages that often. Exchanging digits when a convo starts to lose momentum can save it from fizzling out all together.
You Have Chemistry
Knowing whether or not you have chemistry with a match isn’t the easiest thing to determine. According to Rubin, it’s something you can intuit rather than really define. “Chemistry is the x-factor, the curious attraction that's inexplicable,” she previously told Elite Daily. “When people say, 'it hits you like a ton of bricks' or 'you know when you know,' chemistry is part of what they’re talking about.”
If sparks are flying in your dating app convo, then chances are you two may have some chemistry. The only way to find out for sure is to try texting (and eventually move things IRL).
You've Already Talked About An Actual Date
Sure, you may have mentioned potentially meeting up, but if you start talking about a time and a place, then it’s def time to offer up your number. "One can throw out their cell after this as a courtesy to connect if someone is running late or they can't find each other at the meet-up," explains dating expert Meredith Golden of SpoonMeetSpoon.com. Golden recommends waiting to share your number once a date, time, and location are confirmed, adding, "I've noticed that switching to texting from messaging has a high drop-off rate.”
Rubin agrees, saying, “It’s best to exchange phone numbers when you’re planning a date and ready to communicate a little more readily.” If you’ve got a date in the iCal, then it’s probably safe to assume things are getting legit.
Your Match Asks For Your Number
Chances are that, if your match asks for your digits, then they’re interested in taking things to the next level. And if you feel comfortable giving out your number at that point, then go for it. You should know, however, that exchanging numbers doesn’t mean you and your match are on the same page about meeting up IRL. "It's good practice to meet, otherwise [a] 'text buddy' develops, which no one looking for a relationship ever enjoys," explains Golden.
Rubin says you can avoid becoming a “text buddy” by making it clear that’s not what you’re looking for. “You can tell someone you’re not interested in texting without meeting,” she suggests. Make your intentions known before you provide your contact info or else you may just wind up with a digital pen pal.
You should switch over to texting whenever it makes things easier for you — regardless of whether it’s right before a date or not. If you're happy to offer up your number, do it. If you want to wait to feel out the potential relationship a little bit longer, then that’s your right, too. There’s no rule about when to exchange numbers, so just trust your intuition to know when the time is right.
Nina Rubin, life coach
Meredith Golden, dating expert at SpoonMeetSpoon.com
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.
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