These Are The 15 Horniest Things Pete Davidson Has Ever Said

Pete Davidson is a comedic treasure. And although it’s hard to pick favorites when it comes to the Saturday Night Live star’s humor, his best moments might be when he puts his honesty and sex appeal together. What can I say? Sex jokes just work for him. Whether Davidson is explicitly explaining his sexual preferences or responding to rumors about his penis (yes, really), he knows how to find the balance between funny and sexy. Is it really any wonder that he’s reportedly won over Kim Kardashian?

Based on Davidson’s comedy career, it’s pretty clear that he will do anything for a laugh. (I mean, this is the same guy who admitted to taking expensive singing lessons for a year just because he thought it would be funny.) Still, taking a look at the horniest things he has ever said is not for the faint of heart.

The uncontested king of BDE loves to play with shock value — even if that involves the occasional (or running!) joke about his mom’s sex life. For Davidson, nothing is off-limits. The more extreme, the better.

So open up a private browser and strap in — here are the 15 horniest things Davidson has ever said.

On Having Sex With Ariana Grande

During an interview with Howard Stern in September 2018, Davidson opened up about the intimate details of his relationship with Ariana Grande.

• "Any time we’re intimate, I’m always apologizing and saying thank you. ‘You’re awesome for doing this, thank you so much.’”
• “I was jerking off to her before I met her.”
• “My d*ck’s forever hard.”

On What He Likes (And Doesn’t Like) In Bed

Davidson got vocal about his sex life during his Netflix special, Pete Davidson: Alive From New York.

• “So you know when you’re on top, and you’re about to shove the dick in ya? ... Some girls, most, uh, usually they just start sliding, uh, on top of the dicks before they put it up there. They’re just like, ‘Yeah. Yeah, do you like this?’ No, we don’t. F*ckin’ hurts, a lot. Stop doing that, every girl ever, please. Please.”
• “Guy stuff is very self-explanatory, but if someone ever pulled my pants down and just started, like, punching my dick, I wouldn’t be like, ‘Aw, f*ck! I hope she figures it out.’ [I’d be like,] ‘Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! This is war.’ I would be like, ‘Who sent you? What is this? Is this… Is this an assassination attempt?’”

On His “10 Inches”

After his breakup with Grande, Davidson cleared up her comments on his manhood during Alive from New York.

• “I think she’s just tiny. I think I have an average-sized penis and she’s tiny. Everything’s big to her.”

On Having Sex With Someone New

• “I think girls should tell guys how to make them come. Like, the first time you have sex. Before, like, have a debriefing, you know? You know, cause apparently every girl is different is, uh, you know, what I’m telling myself.” — Pete Davidson: Alive from New York

On Wearing Condoms

• “It's disrespectful. It is! If I was a girl, I'd be like, 'What? Do you think I'm dirty?' I never wear a condom! I'm a gentleman.” — Dressing Funny

Reminder: safe sex is good sex!

On His... Mom?

• "Someone should slam [my mom]. Seriously, she's been, like, not with anybody since, like, my dad died. Someone needs to get up in that and get that lady off my back... I don't care... at this point, I might f*ck her.” — Dressing Funny

On Blowjobs

• “[Swallowing] had never happened to me before until I met the love of my life. I didn't know that girls did that because I'm a young guy. When that happened I was like, ‘Wow, I love you.’” — Interview with radio personality, Charlamagne tha God (2015)
• “Have you ever played the ‘how much money would you go down on a guy for’ game?… Of course, I would [go down on a guy for a million dollars]. A million dollars is a steal… I would do it for like $3,000 if I had to be honest with myself.” — Saturday Night Live (Sept. 27, 2014)

On Being Horny

During a Dec. 6 IG live on Calvin Klein’s Instagram account, Davidson and Machine Gun Kelly stripped down to their underwear, and Davidson made it clear he was hoping people felt the heat at home.

• “I hope everyone’s horny at home. We really brought the horniness. We bring the horniness.”

On His Manhood

• “I love New York, and I want my modest bulge to show that.” — SNL (Oct. 31, 2020)
• “I’m a grower for sure. I’m not really a grower or a shower. It’s actually the same small and hard. It’s actually a scientific wonder.” — Instagram live from @calvinklein

On His Big D*ck Energy

• “I’m just really, really happy, and if that means I have big d*ck energy, then sick. My favorite thing was my mom was like, ‘Peter, they’re saying you had a big penis just like your father.’ What the f*ck!” — Variety interview (2018)

Well! The more you know. And now, we all know too much.