What Your Halloween Costume Says About The Kind Of Girlfriend You Are
I love romance. I'm a massive feeler, and I just want to feel all the intense love feels with every fiber of my 30-year-old being.
But as I've gotten older and a little more ~real~ with myself, I've learned the core reason I'm so into dating is I love putting together first-date outfits.
First-date outfits are like costumes for me. Sometimes I want to dress like a fetish-y writer with black, horn-rimmed glasses and dangerous red lipstick. Other times, I want to dress like I'm a conservative English princess with a navy peacoat and a prim dress with long, tight sleeves.
Dressing in character is so much fun because you get to express different sides of yourself. And a first date is the perfect opportunity to set free a raw side of yourself to a person who has a totally clean slate when it comes to who you are.
And Halloween is the same way, baby. Don't kid yourself and think your costume is just a costume.
Clothes, whether they're costumes or first-date outfits, are an outward expression of a tucked away side of ourselves. What we wear is very, very telling of our souls.
And it's all interconnected. Love, style, dressing up: They're all visceral self-expression that doesn't always add up or make sense.
They're parts of ourselves that don't require intellect; they require nothing but our wild creativity. So doesn't it make perfect sense that how we dress for Halloween says everything about who we are inside?
Here's what your favorite Halloween costume says about your dating style:
A Fairy: The Magical Girlfriend
Girls who dress up as fairies are expressing their whimsical side. They crave adventurous dates, but not blackout-at-a-bar adventurous dates.
They like sunset boat rides over a glittering sea and three-course dinners at quirky rooftop restaurants.
The fairy is drawn to the magic of romance. She wants to kiss for hours and hours. She wants to savor the stunningly beautiful moments.
However, she hates reality. The moment shit gets real, the bank account is overdrawn and her partner is grumpy and miserable from work, the fairy flies away, her delicate wings aflutter as she finds someone sparkly and new.
So boys, girls and everyone in between: Beware of the fairy. She tends to be very sweet and can intoxicate you with her pixie-like demeanor, but don't get attached.
A fairy might be small and she might be ethereal, but that bitch will break your heart.
A Sexy Devil: The Complex Girlfriend
Girls who dress up like sexy devils aren't evil, contrary to popular belief. And they aren't as promiscuous as one might think.
The girl devil is sassy. She bites back and isn't afraid to stand out in her hot, red attire. She's a fearless woman who isn't hesitant to make the first move.
But, babe, she's a lover.
Any woman who adorns her body in so many shades of burnt crimson is burning with crazed passion inside. Plus, love is the devil, isn't it? It tricks you. It lures you to the dark side. It lives in hot, hot, hot spaces.
The girl devil understands love is scary and love is dangerous, but always worth the risk. She understands the intricate complexity of love.
If your girl devil decides she wants you, she will love you with everything she has.
But don't you dare cheat on her. Hell hath no fury like a girl devil fucked over.
A Bunny: Innocent On The Outside, Trouble On The inside
We all know what a bunny represents: something so cute, doe-eyed and sweet, it couldn't possibly do anything wrong!
HA! We all know bunnies may look like the picture of innocence, but really, they're raging sex goddesses who are amazing in bed and date multiple people at once.
The bunny is an expert at making you feel like you're the only person in her life, but she's got a whole laundry list of partners.
The real talent of the bunny is she's quick as hell. A bunny moves from date to date so quickly, she never gets caught in the act of being a fabulous player.
And because of that pristine, fluffy tail and those adorably, floppy ears, no one would ever question her intentions.
If you're dating a bunny, have the time of your life. But understand she's having the time of her life... with lots of people.
A Disney Princess: The Drama Queen
I'm a girl who has dressed as a Disney Princess every single year of my life for Halloween. And let me tell you, my fellow Disney Princess sisters and I are very dramatic women to date.
We feel the need to dress up as a tragic princess because we feel like tragic princesses on the inside. It's TOUGH to be so glamorous and tragic, OK?
We have high standards and get very upset if you don't come to our rescue whenever we need you.
(We shouldn't NEED to be rescued, blah, blah, we know. But just let us live our tragic, co-dependent lives.)
If we go away for an extended period of time, whether it's a bout in a mental hospital or a tropical vacation, we expect you to pick us up at the airport with a six-piece orchestra playing as we make our way down the escalator.
We're wildly emotional. We've been through shit in our lives, and we just want a deeply passionate lover to come out of the thin air, ready to save us from the pitfalls of reality.
It's hard to meet someone who can reach our standards, so we're often single, dressed in couture, smoking cigarettes at the party alone and waiting for you.
A Celebrity: The Scandalous Girlfriend
Girls who dress as celebrities for Halloween secretly desire to live a scandalous celeb life. They are the girls who would rather be talked negatively about than never talked about at all.
Any publicity is GOOD publicity, honey.
The celebrity will do bizarre things when she's dating just to throw her partner off. She might not show up for one date, and act totally flummoxed when you call her out on it.
"What are you talking about, babe? We didn't have plans." And then, she will flash you her winning smile and you will just let her get away with it because, just like a real celebrity, she shines, shines, shines.
The celebrity is a ton of fun to date. Nothing will ever be boring with her, but you'll always come second to her scandalous social life and career.
The celebrity is an opportunist, so she always has one eye open looking for someone else — someone who is brighter, richer and fiercer.
A Wild Animal: The Loyal, Yet Wildly Overprotective Girlfriend
Girls who dress up as animals are primal, baby. Like wild animals, they're super protective, intense and very tapped into their core instincts.
When they love you, it's in an instant. And they will always have your back, sticking it out with you through thick and thin.
But don't you dare flirt with someone in front of them. Because the claws will come out, girl! And that's no fun for anyone.
So, girls, dress the fuck up this year for Halloween and pay attention to what the hell you're wearing. Because our desires to dress up aren't random.
It's a wild, unabashed side of ourselves we've been suppressing in our love lives all year long.