Ah, ghosting. It's the dating phenomenon that happens when people are too cowardly to actually end things with the people they've been seeing, so they choose to just… disappear instead.
Ghosters are idiots. But if you've ever been ghosted, know that you're not alone.
In this weekly column, I share a tale of a time a reader was ghosted (with accompanying screenshots) so you can see the last text that was sent or words that were uttered before someone decided to disappear forever. I present to you: Boom, Ghosted.
Have your own ghosting story you'd like to submit? You can submit your story here, or send over to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Today, we have Pam* who was ghosted by the guy she rides the subway with every single day:
Every day, I take the same train to work in NYC and for the past seven to 10 months, I've been getting on the train at the same time as this one guy every single day. As the weather got nicer and we shed our winter coats, I began to notice that this guy had AWESOME style, so I began to call him 'Cool Shirt Guy' in my head. On a random Sunday night in June, I was swiping on Tinder at home and came across 'Cool Shirt Guy.' I swiped right, and we matched. I spent all night toying back and forth with whether or not to message him, but I decided to hold off, just in case I saw him on the train the next morning. I showed up at the station, and to my dismay, I guess he decided to take a different train that morning. Fast forward to when I was on my way home from work that night. I got a Tinder message from him asking if I took the train!
Obviously, I was pretty excited and replied that I did, in fact, take the train from there and that I thought we took the same train. Then, we continued talking for the rest of the night, and I found out he was leaving to go to Ireland for a week on Friday. The next morning, I got to the train station, he came up to me, and we chatted for a bit before the train showed up. He even sat down with me on the train, and we talked for the entire hour ride into the city. I thought we had really hit it off and had a great conversation, given the fact that it was 8:00 a.m. The rest of the week went by, and we chatted every morning before getting on the train, though we weren't sitting together anymore. But I still messaged him that Thursday night saying that I hoped he'd have a good time in Ireland. He messaged me back saying that he'd see me in the morning because he still had to go to work.
Then, we talked on Friday morning a little bit before getting on the train. I later got a message from him at work saying that he was deleting Tinder because some of his co-workers had found him on there, and he thought it was awkward. I totally agreed with that, so I gave him my number, and he gave me back his.
That was the last time we messaged each other. I did see him right after Fourth of July weekend when I got back from upstate NY, and he got back from Ireland. We talked a bit before we got on the train, and that was it. I still take the same train every morning, and we still get on at the same entrance. It's honestly so awkward that neither of us is willing to say anything to each other, and it's even crazier that he'd go out of his way to message me after matching with me on Tinder, KNOWING we saw each other every single day.
But this may be, by far, the most awkward ghosting story. It kind of reminds me of the guy in college you hooked up with, and then, you realize he's in your Philosophy 101 class the next day, and neither of you acknowledge each other's existences, even though you literally saw each other naked last night.
Except this is worse... you know, because Pam and this guy are adults.
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*Names have been changed.