This week we have Jean* who was ghosted by a guy she thought she connected with after she sent him a seemingly harmless text about an inside joke:
To give you a little backstory… I live in Charlotte, North Carolina, where there is no shortage of young, attractive, successful, fun, good-looking men. Like, seriously, there are so many. The only problem is, it's such a fun town that everyone moves here to meet new people and just hang out — no one ever wants to commit. It's like an adult playground or college on steroids. So I decided to give dating apps a real shot, and I went out on my first Bumble date last week. It's so crazy how you can think something is going so well, and then, the feeling isn't reciprocated for whatever reason.
For the date, we met up for drinks at a popular sports bar a few Thursdays ago, and we ran into some of my best guy friends randomly. So we hung out with them for a little while, and it was an awesome, unexpected way to break the ice. We kind of broke off from them and hung out at the bar, casually chatting, sharing stories, having fun, etc. It seemed like we had a TON in common. He's smart, he has his shit together, he's fun, he's real... the list goes on. The bar was closing at midnight, and he was like, 'Let's go get McDonald's,' and I was like, 'Hell yeah.' (We were both tipsy, so I was definitely on the same page). I basically asked him if we were going back to my place or his because things were going so well… very presumptuous, I know, but I was feeling it!
Anyway, he offered to take me his place, so we went there, and the next thing I know, we're having crazy ass sex. I'm typically very into just going with the flow and doing what feels right, and that night felt sooo right, so I definitely don't regret it! We stayed up late talking and watching TV, and we kind of made tentative plans to go see a movie that Saturday during the day. So I left that next morning, grabbed an Uber home, and we texted all the next day. I made it pretty clear that I really wanted to hang again.
I made it pretty clear that I really wanted to hang again.
Saturday rolled around, and he came to my place before the movie. We get super stoned, went to get candy and headed to the movies — it was the perfect afternoon. He paid for the movie (so it was totally a date) and then came back to my place and watched 'Broad City.' He also tried to initiate a hookup, but I was more into just chilling at the time. I kind of turned it down because my roomie was about to get home. He left a couple of hours later to get ready to go out for the night. I didn't think much of it.
He didn't text me much that night, which is fine, and we didn't end up meeting up. We had talked about hanging out the following Sunday, but he never called. I saw on Snapchat that he was out drinking for Sunday Funday (again, totally fine), but I'm super into communication, so when I didn't hear from him, I was super bummed! I texted him Tuesday just to initiate a conversation and show interest, but it went nowhere. I haven't heard from him since! I texted him again the next week with a link to an Elite Daily article — '7 Trash Dates Ideas People Make Fun Of That Are Actually The Best' and made some comment like, 'McDonald's and matinee movies FTW!'
I STILL GOT NO RESPONSE. At that point, I realized that I had just been ghosted! SO rude. This might seem insignificant compared to some of your other stories, but I was pretty shocked considering I felt some awesome chemistry with this guy. (Though, apparently, I was the only one!) I am fully aware that there are plenty of guys to choose from here, so I plan on just counting it as a loss and moving on. Whatever. It seems like he parties a lot, and there's a high chance of us running into each other in the future, which is fine, but I don't want to feel awkward about it!
I just had such a good time, and I thought it was mutual. But clearly, he's either too busy or just not interested. If he was, he'd be calling. Personally, I try not to ghost people or give people a slow fade. If they don't take a hint that what we have isn't going anywhere, then I'm more direct with them. But this old 'fade to black' trick should absolutely DIE! At least the sex was good, and I got some drinks out of it… OH WELL!
I honestly feel bad that an Elite Daily article salted our girl Jean's game that badly, but you know what? I have a feeling this guy wouldn't have been into it no matter what she said.
Like Jean said, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
None of the texts she sent were even weird! This ghosting clearly had to be the result of something that happened in person. Maybe he just didn't feel a connection? I honestly have no idea.
What do you guys think? Have you ever been ghosted out of the blue like this by someone you thought you had a real connection with? Have you ever ghosted someone who assumed they had a good connection with you? Either way, I want to hear your thoughts!
*Names have been changed.