This week we have Jennifer*. She was ghosted by her boyfriend — who she had matching tattoos with, no less — after two years of dating each other, three months of which they spent living together:
I met my ex-boyfriend in Brazil after the first Colombia match against Greece in the World Cup. (We both are Colombian). It was like love at first sight. He isn't the most handsome or anything, but I felt a special connection and I couldn't stop staring at him. The next day, we started texting each other and I concluded the connection was real. I felt as if I was talking to my best friend, and he said he felt the same. Since that day, we didn't stop talking for two years straight with a few exceptions. He became my friend, my lover, my psychologist… literally everything. And he seemed in love, too. He would text me all the time — literally ALL the time — saying he missed me, he wanted to be with me, he loved me.
Editor's note: We translated these texts and they're essentially just a bunch of sappy texts about how much he loves her... story checks out.
He would email me love letters saying he knew I was the one. He would write me songs and record them for me. OK, I forgot to mention that we had a long-distance relationship for a while. He was living in Colombia, and I was finishing my bachelors in New York. But we couldn't wait any more, and last year, on my birthday, he surprised me with a three-month long visit!
The only problem I could find was that he didn't have a job. But for me, this was simply a rough patch. He told me that he was going to look for a job while in NY to help me with the rent and other expenses. This never happened. I just reassured myself by saying he was on vacation, so I wouldn't push him to work. He never got a job, but NY was still a dream come true. I got to live three months with someone I loved with all my heart. We spent Christmas together!
And he was really attentive. He would cook for me, clean up everything. He would pick me up at work or wait for me at the subway station… Long story short, he was a gentleman. He was a sweet, romantic, loving person (ignoring the fact that he didn't pay for anything). We even got matching tattoos! Here's a picture of us holding hands with our matching tattoos on our forearms:
On February 2016, he came back to Colombia. And one month later, I came back, too. Even though he lived in a different city, it was just three hours away by bus, and I thought it was going to be a lot easier to meet, at least on the weekends. We kept living our love story until things started to get a little complicated because he never had money to come visit me. At the beginning, I would always go to Armenia (the city in Colombia where he lived). But then, as soon as I began asking him to find a job and do something with his life, we began to have some fights. They were OK for me, though. Couples fight, don't they?
Long story short, he broke up with me.
But when I asked him the reason, he didn't really know what to reply. Later that same week, he blocked me from all social media platforms and WhatsApp. He deleted every picture we had together… literally, ALL OF THEM (even one we had in his dog's account that I created for him). For two months, I blamed myself for the breakup. There wasn't any [logical] explanation, so I thought that maybe someone lied to him about me cheating, or maybe he didn't like me anymore or fell in love with someone else because I gained a lot of weight. A few months later, we began talking again. He said his reason to block me was that I called his mom asking about him and was acting as if I was the victim. I apologized so many times, I even cried asking him for forgiveness.
I visited him in Armenia before he went to England (he found a job there for a year), and things were working out again. But then, one day, I woke up earlier than him and checked his phone… he had a message to HIS COUSIN'S WIFE. In the conversation, she was complaining about my presence in Armenia, and his answer was, 'Don't be jealous, don't worry, Jennifer is something temporary, just while she stays in the city.' Don't judge me, but I stayed there with him. Anyway, we kept talking even when he left to England. While [on] the [plane], he texted me that he loved me and that he missed me so much. But a week or so later, he started acting rude and ignoring me. The last thing I remember him texting was, "You mean nothing to me. You are not my responsibility…" Since that day, I've heard nothing from him.
I can't say how I found out, but I started to have some doubts when he didn't text or said anything on my birthday. NOTHING! I dated this guy for two years, we lived together and he didn't say or text a word for my birthday. Then I found out the truth.
I dated this guy for two years, we lived together and he didn't say or text a word for my birthday.
This guy ended up being a sociopath. He lied to me for the whole two years. He never even cared about me. He began dating me because he somehow knew that my family had a business. He wanted to steal from us by asking me to start a company together, and then, taking the money and disappearing.
He began dating me because he somehow knew that my family had a business. He wanted to steal from us.
I couldn't believe it, until everything began to make sense. Of course, he also dated and had sex with who knows how many girls while being my 'boyfriend.' The worst part… his mom knew! They both knew what they wanted, and they both did exactly what they needed to do to get it. He said and did everything perfectly to make me fall in love with him, and his mom did what she knew would work to make me feel welcome to the family. His mom kept talking to me until, one day, I mailed her a dress she said she really loved (my mom is a fashion designer). The day she got the dress was the last day she ever talked to me. So, guys, you can imagine how I felt. My first boyfriend, my first everything, and he ended up being a fraud. BOOM, GHOSTED.
I seriously feel for Jennifer.
Being ghosted is already hard in and of itself, but to deal with the pain of being cheated on and lied to on top of that seems unimaginably horrible.
And by her FIRST love! That's pretty much worst-case scenario in terms of setting a precedent for who you love in the future.
I think the part that gets me the most with this one is that they were in a SERIOUS relationship. This wasn't some casual fling or a few hookups gone wrong. No, he moved across the country to live with her for three months! They had matching tattoos!
Honestly, I wonder if he got the tattoo removed after he decided to ghost her... Also, how did he explain it to the other girls he was banging the whole time?? SO many questions.
As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter, so comment below!
*Names have been changed.