Ah, ghosting. It's the dating phenomenon that happens when people are too cowardly to actually end things with the people they've been seeing, so they choose to just… disappear instead.
Ghosters are idiots. But if you've ever been ghosted, know that you're not alone.
In this weekly column, I share a tale of a time a reader was ghosted (with accompanying screenshots) so you can see the last text that was sent or words that were uttered before someone decided to disappear forever. I present to you: Boom, Ghosted.
Have your own ghosting story you'd like to submit? You can submit your story here, or send over to email@example.com.
This week we have Amy* who was ghosted by her guy after he introduced her to his friends and his dog:
I met this guy on Bumble (surprise, surprise) and learned that we actually went to the same college (he was three grades above me) and had a lot of mutual friends and acquaintances. We chatted for about a week before meeting up for drinks. He was the quiet type, but still charming and nice. He was a little behind in picking up my sarcasm, but that wasn't a big deal. I thought it went well, but I couldn't tell if he was into me or not by the end of the night. However, he continued texting me after that night and even mentioned wanting to see me before he went off to Vegas for a bachelor party for the weekend.
We met up at a brewery, played games, ate at a late-night joint, and went back to his place so I could sober up. He didn't try to make a move, even though I was giving plenty of signals. I figured he was just slow in the physical aspect of dating or shy. No matter. Still unsure if he was really interested, I didn't think much when he didn't text much while he was in Vegas, and I was in Cabo that following weekend. Monday morning came around, and he reached out to me. He brought up meeting up that following Sunday and even mentioned bringing his dog from his parents' home because I had mentioned loving dogs. He even threw in that he would do that because it meant '[he'll] see [me] every day' because I semi-agreed to help look after the dog while he was at work during the day. (His apartment building didn't allow dogs, and he was kind of sneaking him in for the week.)
Sunday evening came around, and I went over to his place, met his dog, and we made plans to grab dinner. However, he had friends stop by to check out an apartment they were interested in renting out, and they ended up staying. I didn't mind, and I thought we all got along well. They were joking around with me and asking me questions, etc. We all stayed to watch Game of Thrones, and once it was over, he walked me to my car, hugged me goodnight, and said to text him once I got home. This is when things started turning. The next day, I texted him, and he responded pretty shortly.
Two days later, I asked him about a loan refinancing program he told me about, and his response was the last thing I heard from him. I reached out a few days later about an inside joke we had about a patient of mine and got absolutely nothing in return! It completely boggles my mind as to what happened! I didn't think that last hangout went badly, but maybe it did for him? And even if that was the case, why couldn't he just be a grown, mature adult about the situation and just hit me up with a text explaining that he was no longer interested or wasn't planning on continuing to talk to me? I'm a pretty understanding person and wouldn't have been angry about it. But it just speaks volumes about him if he couldn't find the courage to just be honest, right?
This early on in a casual relationship, it's totally fine to realize you're just not that into it and call it quits. So that's why I don't understand why this guy felt the need to completely ghost Amy! Rather than leaving her hanging, why not just shoot her a quick text and tell her you're not feeling it? Why leave her hanging in purgatory like that?
Has this ever happened to you? Were you ever the ghoster in this situation? Do you know where he's coming from? Whatever the case, comment your opinions below!
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!
*Names have been changed.