Relationships

The Playboy's Playbook: The 20 Reasons Why She’s Not Getting A Second Date

by Date Master Dan
Stocksy

New York City is a special place. I’ve heard a lot of people say that it’s easy to meet people, but difficult to form meaningful relationships. I can agree with that. It’s an enormous city with millions of people and the next best thing might be just around the corner.

Why work on getting to know this person (who might be right for you) when you can hop on Tinder or OkCupid, or get set up for another date next week?

Being the introspective guy that I am, after looking through my historical dating performance, I notice that there are a lot of first dates and not so many meaningful relationships. Is it me? Is it NYC? Nope, it isn’t. It’s her, and here are the top 20 reasons she isn’t getting a second date.

She showed up late.

She is not off to a good start, kind of like showing up to the first day of school without doing the summer reading. She’s got a lot of catching up to do.

She was indecisive.

Oh, you don’t know what you want to drink? Vodka-tonic or vodka-soda? Don’t really have an opinion about what you want to eat? It’s okay, I’ll just sit here forever while you wallow back and forth.

She didn’t say thank you.

No really, your presence alone is enough for me.

She made zero attempts to learn anything about me.

Any clue what I do for a living? Didn’t think so.

She didn’t have passion.

You like iced coffee, “Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” shopping and brunch with your friends? Nothing else you’d like share?

She texted during the date.

Is it so hard to just keep your phone in your purse?

She wasn’t attractive.

Bait and switch. Sometimes I wish I could do the Heisman and make a run for it.

She's not on the same page as you.

She says she's pro-life, watches The Food Network on the treadmill and talks about matching towels. She's out.

Supply and demand...

If I was 36 and ready to quit, maybe, but I’m not settling for you.

Life’s too short.

Should I give her another chance? Nah, I don’t think so…

She took herself too seriously.

I totally agree, getting that two-line blurb in this month’s Teen Vogue is crucially important to the fashion industry and for mankind.

Bad breath!!!

Inexcusable.

She has terrible manners.

Even a pack of wolves can behave better than her.

She asked me how many girls I’ve slept with.

There is no “right” answer to this question. Don’t ask.

She didn’t shut up about her friends.

This is riveting stuff, sweetheart. I don’t care about the fight between Lauren and Jessica and how funny Erica’s new boyfriend is.

She mentioned her ex-boyfriends.

Can I get out of here even though I haven’t finished my first drink? I can chug pretty quickly…

She was obnoxious.

Please, end me now!

She was immature.

I didn’t realize 24-year-old girls don’t know how to act on a date. Amazing she didn’t suggest meeting at a pregame.

She couldn’t be separated from the pack.

She clearly didn’t know how to be a real person, independent from her friends.

The obvious...

Last night’s girl was way hotter.