51 Funny Quotes About Dating That'll Make You Feel *So* Seen
"Do you have, like, a first date outfit I could borrow? Like, I don't know, a pair of cargo pants?"
Whether you're single as a Pringle or paired up like a Kit Kat, sometimes you just need to giggle about your love life. And while meeting new people and connecting with cuties can be fun, going on a million dates can begin to feel lackluster. However, if you're in the mood for some romantic comedy (see what I did there?), these funny dating quotes will make you live and laugh about falling in love.
Maybe you just got ghosted for the millionth time, or you're struggling to connect with the person you've been seeing. Regardless, it's not always easy to stay positive about dating. While you never want to make a joke at someone's expense (making fun of others is the least funny thing ever), shrugging your shoulders and embracing the humor of a situation can be the best thing you can do. Not to sound like a wooden plaque at your grandmother's house, but taking a moment to laugh every day can be a super important practice. And hearing anecdotes from people going through the same thing as you? Well, that's just the comedic icing on top.
Even through countless dates and unreturned phone calls, you can use funny quotes about dating to help you approach your next Bumble meetup with an open mind and an even bigger bag of jokes. Katie Boyle, an Irish comedian who’s popular on TikTok, says “A bad situation is more digestible if it’s funny. Now, people have a funny story to tell their friends.” Even if your dating life proves to be more successful than most, (cue “jealousy, jealousy” by Olivia Rodrigo) it’s still important to carry your best one-liners along with you on the rollercoaster ride that is your love life.
Simone Anderson and Isabella Marano are the two hosts of Swipe Talk, a podcast and TikTok account about the ridiculous world of app-based dating. “With dating, people are constantly looking for something they have in common with people. Because most people feel bad about dating, they can share these relatable stories on social media, share a laugh together and feel less alone,” Marano tells Elite Daily.
“As opposed to coming home and crying about the fact that you thought you were having a great date until the guy went through the bathroom window to escape the date, let me get on the internet and make fun of the fact that I’ve been on 50,000 first dates,” said Anderson. “Self-deprecating humor will never not be funny. People would rather laugh than cry about an experience.”
Anderson encourages people in the dating world to not take themselves so seriously. “Let this one date a week be a moment of laughter and not a serious interview,” said Anderson. “I date for character development. There’s no pressure toward making my next boyfriend my husband. That’s why it’s so important to find the light-heartedness and humor in dating.”
Anderson believes that every date, boring or not, is a chance to grow as an individual. “If I’m on a date and a man is boring, I have nothing to lose here,” she says. “This is now a rehearsal for the next person I go on a date with.” If you're looking to smile today, these 51 quotes about dating make falling in love a laughing matter.
Quotes About Being Single
1. “My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.” — Joan Rivers
2. “I am so romantic, sometimes I think I should just marry myself.” — Mike Wazowski (Monster’s Inc., 2001)
3. “My lesson from this is don’t ever expect anything from humans. Gonna start adopting cats now.” — Jami Letain (The Bachelor’s Season 20, 2016)
4. “Would I rather be feared or loved? Um… easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” — Michael Scott (The Office’s Season 2, 2005)
5. “I’m happy with my relationship status: I’m about to get married. I just don’t know to who yet.” — Kellye Howard (Laugh Factory, 2014)
6. “I’ve been single for a while and I have to say. It’s going very well. Like… it’s working out. I think I’m the one.” — Emily Heller
7. "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?" — Lily Tomlin
8. "I'm dropping hints that I'm single. I'm single." — Kim Kardashian (Kourtney and Kim Take New York’s Season 1, 2011)
9. “I like to do things that glorify being alone. If you don’t act like you’ve been hit by the plague when you’re alone on a Friday night, and just see it as a chance to have fun by yourself, it’s not a bad day.” — Taylor Swift (Seventeen, 2013)
10. “I’m at an unfair advantage because I’ve stalked you online for two months.” — Lauren Bushnell (The Bachelor’s Season 20, 2016)
11. "Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that’s why I don’t have a boyfriend." — Lucy Liu (Esquire, 2006)
12. “They used to say to keep a man you had to know how to cook. But I’m solo in Soho, sippin’ Soju in Malibu. It’s a me, myself kinda attitude.” — Lizzo, “Soulmate”
13. “A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.” — Cher
14. ‘I have had sex, and honestly, Jesus still loves me.” — Hannah Brown (The Bachelorette’s Season 15, 2019)
15. “The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog.” — Carrie Underwood, “More Boys I Meet”
16. “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” — Lady Gaga (Cosmopolitan, 2010)
17. “When I first meet somebody, it’s usually panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.” — Chandler Bing (Friends’ Season 7, 2000)
On Friends And Lovers
18. “Irregardless! Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.” — Gretchen Wieners (Mean Girls, 2004)
19. "My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me." — Garry Shandling
On Finding The One
20. “You wouldn’t know love if it kicked you in the fangs.” — Lorena (True Blood’s Season 7, 2010)
21. "You wanna be a grown-*ss woman? Stop dating skaters. They're sexy on the outside, malt liquor on the inside." — Ali Wong (Baby Cobra, 2016)
22. "There's a difference between like and love. Because I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack." — Bianca Stratford (10 Things I Hate About You, 1999)
23. "Do you have, like, a first date outfit I could borrow? Like, I don't know, a pair of cargo pants?" — Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation’s Season 2, 2009)
24. "I already feel fed up with boys and I haven't even had anything to do with them yet." — Georgia (Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, 2008)
25. “One guy said he ‘used to be in a band.’ I was like, ‘that’s not an occupation.'” — Julie Klausner (Huffington Post, 2010)
26. "Save a boyfriend for a rainy day — and another, in case it doesn’t rain." — Mae West
27. "To find a prince, you gotta kiss some toads." — Foxy Brown, “Ill Na Na”
28. "When choosing sexual partners, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable." — Tina Fey (Bossypants, 2011)
29. "It’s the 21st century. I don’t need an alpha male to protect me. I need a geek who can get my naked photos off the cloud.” — Whitney Cummings (I’m Your Girlfriend, 2016)
30. “I love love, and I’m very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy tales everyone else had. I just noted that everyone’s mom was dead and real princesses get beheaded, so I just have a more realistic take on it.” — Amy Schumer (Glamour, 2015)31. “I buy my own diamonds. When a guy comes into my life, it will not be for diamonds.” — Priyanka Chopra (Filmfare, 2016)
32. “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” — Megan Mullally (Greatest Love Story Ever Told, 2018)
On Being In A Relationship
33. "My boyfriend eats gluten-free. Now I gotta eat all this bread that tastes like free-range Chewbacca."— Ali Wong (Hard Knock Wife, 2018)
34. "True love is singing karaoke 'Under Pressure' and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part." — Mindy Kaling
35. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are." — Will Ferrell
36. "Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing." — Natasha Leggero (The 70s ShowHouse, 2005)
37. “One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like ‘I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom, too?’” — Michelle Obama (The TODAY Show, 2018)
38. “Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.” — Paul Rudd as Pete (Knocked Up, 2007)
39. “Husbands are like fine wine; they take a long time to mature.” — Lidia Biondi as Donatella (Letters to Juliet, 2010)
40. “Did you know that the institution of marriage was created when the average person lived to the age of 30?” — Rachel Bilson as Kim (The Last Kiss, 2006)
41. “Love is not a sprint, it’s a marathon — a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms… or hits you with the pepper spray.” — Howard Wolowitz (The Big Bang Theory’s Season 1, 2007)
42. “A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to get bangs every other month.” — Dax Shepard
43. “After about 15 years, I finally figured out that she’s always right. So surprisingly we just stopped fighting after that.” — Barack Obama (The Ellen DeGeneres Show, 2016)
On Breakups
44. “Only time can heal his heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.” — Miss Piggy (The Muppets, 2011)
45. “Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push. You gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.” — Jerry Seinfeld (Seinfeld’s Season 9, 1998)
46. “Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jack*ss to pay for it all.” — Paris Hilton (1 Night In Paris, 2004)
47. “It took you two weeks to go off and date her / Guess you didn’t cheat but you’re still a traitor.” — Olivia Rodrigo, “traitor”
48. “I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone.” — Jessica Day (New Girl’s Season 2, 2012)
49. “Don’t trust creepy old men.” — Sophie Turner (Vanity Fair, 2014)
50. "I love you, but I love me more." — Samantha Jones (Sex and the City: The Movie, 2008)
51. “Ah, yes, divorce… from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” — Robin Williams (The Telegraph, 2014)
Whether you vent about Tinder or joke about your girlfriend's smelly salad dressing, sharing silly stories is a great way to connect with the people around you. Of course, if you're getting sick of being single (@ me), laughing along the way can help you stay positive. No matter your romantic status, being kind and patient with yourself is no laughing matter.
Experts:
Katie Boyle, Irish Comedian with dating experience
Simone Anderson, Co-Host of Swipe Talk Podcast + TikTok
Isabella Marano, Co-Host of Swipe Talk Podcast + TikTok
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