The hot, the awkward, and the unforgettable.
There’s a first time for everything — including oral sex. This sex act can be nervewracking the first few times you try it, and that’s totally OK. When the time and place is right, oral sex can also be extremely satisfying, either as foreplay or as the main event. The key is making sure you’ve both given consent, you’re excited, and that you trust the person you’re about to go down on. “You get to decide which specific sexual acts you do and don’t want to participate in,” sex therapist Vanessa Marin previously told Bustle. So, your first step is making sure you’re ready and enthusiastic about taking this step.
Once you’ve checked in with yourself, you can start preparing for your first time giving oral sex. Marin suggests practicing on a sex toy to ease your nerves if you’re really getting in your head. “At first, practice simply holding the object in your mouth,” she says. “Practice breathing in and out of your nose, and try to get yourself to relax … The idea is just to get used to having something in your mouth.” You can also use your hands to help you get the other person off. “Hand jobs may feel less intimidating to you, and they can help you get used to playing with a penis,” she says — or a vagina, or any other sex organ you’re planning to give oral to.
It helps to hype yourself up with positive self-talk beforehand. "Our internal dialogues have a huge impact on our mental states," Gigi Engle, sex coach, sexologist, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life, previously told Elite Daily. Kick that inner critic out of your head. "Tell yourself how hot you are and [how] strong you are," Engle suggested. "If you feel good about yourself and your body, you can enjoy everything that's happening to you."
Another way to feel better (and to realize that no one’s first time is perfect) is to read oral sex stories from other people. They range from hilarious to cringe-worthy, but the common thread is that everyone is in this together. Read on to find 10 incredible stories of people's first time performing oral sex.
I tried to do it like I’d seen on the internet and ended up gagging. Just a tiny bit of bile came up, not a lot, but enough that he had to run and rinse it out because, and I quote, 'IT BURNS.'
— Rose, 35
Ninth grade, after gym class. It was propositioned as a way to get protein. I wish I were kidding.
— Bentley, 19
Kind of awkward. She had an orgasm and immediately got up and went to the kitchen and started cooking. She didn't say a word or even look at me, and I ended up just leaving.
— Micah, 45
It was the day before our freshman year of high school. He convinced me he was into me and said he’d reciprocate (he didn’t even kiss me). It was on our elementary school playground. I threw up on the way home twice and he told everyone I was a hot senior.
— Emily, 21
I was 18. My gag reflex was really active and I threw up.
— Nina, 24
My first time performing oral sex, I was 16 and my boyfriend at the time asked me to do it. I had only heard about girls doing it 'on their knees' so I thought that’s how I needed to be. When he came, I remembered all my friends telling me to spit because swallowing would be gross, but that just seemed to make a bigger mess.
— Sydney, 26
It was my junior year of high school. I was in her bedroom, and I could hear her parents and younger sister talking right outside her bedroom door. She had two cats, both of which had recently learned how to open her bedroom door by inserting their paws underneath the door and pulling. As I’m giving her oral, her cats are pawing at the door, close to opening it. I was afraid if I stopped to get the door, she wouldn’t be in the mood anymore. My eyes would dart from my girlfriend’s moaning face back to her cats’ paws under the door. So, I kept going at the risk of her cats opening the door and revealing us to her family. The suspense was of Hitchcockian levels. Thankfully, in the end, we weren’t exposed and it was a pleasant experience for both of us!
— Jordan, 26
My first time giving oral was scary because everyone made vagina out to be 'disgusting' and 'smelling like fish.' When I tried it, it turns out I loved the taste of it. I mean, I wouldn’t put it on a sandwich, but it tastes pretty good.
— Brody, 24
The first time I gave a blow job, I cut the dude's penis with my teeth.
— Hanna, 27
I was 17, and I went to a LGBTQ youth group. A friend of mine invited her friend to the youth group, and then we all went to her house. We spent the night, and she slept in her room while the other guy and I slept downstairs. She was probably scheming to get us together. It worked. Never talked to him again.
— Nick, 24
As you can see, everyone's first time is different. Whether you had an outrageous experience or you've never experienced giving oral sex, DW! As long as the sex you're having (or not having) is safe and consensual, there's no right way to feel good.
Experts:
Vanessa Marin, sex therapist
Gigi Engle, sex coach, sexologist, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life
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