New Line Cinema

20 Excuses We've All Heard From Guys Who Weren't Into Us

By
Share

I remember reading an interview Scarlett Johansson did with Cosmo back in April. She was talking about chasing some guy who was "forever unavailable… but, like, so attractively unavailable."

She went on to talk about how she'd wait outside of bars trying to get a hold of him while her friends were inside waiting, and how she'd take a cab to go find him at God knows what time of night.

The point was, he just wasn't into her. And she had to accept it and move on.

I remember reading this interview and LOLing.

First of all, who in their right mind is rejecting Scarlett Johansson?

Second, if we're living in a world where Beyoncé gets cheated on and Scarlett Johansson is getting rejected outside of bars, literally ALL of us are going to be rejected at one point or another.

And with every dumb rejection, comes an even dumber excuse.

So, read along and take a trip down memory lane as we go through 20 of the most bullshit excuses guys have used to reject us.

1. "I've been so busy lately."

Oh! THAT'S why he's literally been ignoring your existence. Wow, I bet you feel so much better now that you know.

2. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now."

Flash forward two months, and there are engagement pictures of him and his new girlfriend fiancée.

3. "I just got out of a serious relationship."

And, of course, that means he can't be in one ever again. Duh!

4. "I'm afraid of commitment."

This seems to be a fear he never intends on facing.

5. "I'm scared I would hurt you."

Yes, because rejecting me right now is not at all painful.

6. "I'm a bad texter."

Right. Because responding to my "hi" text was so difficult.

7. "I met someone else."

WHEN? We literally spend EVERY night together.

8. "I'm focusing on my career right now."

And, of course, that means I need to go because apparently I'm high-maintenance bitch who demands all of your time.

9. "I don't believe in monogamous relationships."

OK, Hef.

10. "I'm just not ready for a serious relationship."

Nor have you ever been in one, so there's that.

11. "I don't want to rush into anything too soon."

Yeah, you're right. We've only been doing this for a year. Let's take some more time.

12. "I just think you're too good for me."

It doesn't matter that I think we'd be a good match...

13. "I wouldn't be the boyfriend you deserve right now."

Why not? Because you're just a total and complete dingus?

14. "I just moved here and need time to adjust."

And I guess I would be a HUGE detriment to this whole "adjustment" process.

15. "I don't really have time for a girlfriend right now."

Again, apparently I'm way too high maintenance and time consuming.

16. "I don't think I'm the right guy for you."

But the fact that I do seems to be completely irrelevant... ? Right. Because I can't think for myself.

17. "I'm going through some family stuff right now."

That'd be a great excuse, if you actually were. But, ya know, it's not so much of a great excuse when it's not true.

18. "I really want to be single, for now."

You also really just don't want to date me.

19. "I want to enjoy being young and going out, for now."

And, apparently, that's not something we can do together.

20. "I don't want a relationship to come between our friendship."

WELL, I DON'T WANT THIS FRIENDSHIP TO COME BETWEEN OUR RELATIONSHIP.

Citations: Scarlett Johansson on Efforts to Defund Planned Parenthood: "We're Moving Backward" (Cosmopolitan)