“You must be freezing — you’ve been naked in my mind for a while.”
OK, so I have to confess: I’m not really into sexting. No judgment — if two consenting adults want to text dirty ’til their fingers come off, I am here for it. However, the one instance where I’m 100% DTS (down to sext, obvi) is when it’s funny sexting. Nothing turns me on more than laughter. But it’s never easy to come up with an opening line that’s sexy and somewhat natural and funny, and it’s even more of a challenge if you aren’t trying to take yourself too seriously. It’s hard to focus on steamy pics and messages when you’re so busy brainstorming clever sexts to send your hookup buddy or partner.
Even if it's just to break the ice before you get into the really freaky stuff, having witty responses to sexting on hand is a great way to get the ball rolling. Especially if your hookup buddy is pretty witty themselves. If you’re really trying to initiate a sexy chat, the most important thing to remember is that there’s nothing hotter than just being yourself. After all, your sexts are what’s turning your partner on.
“It (sexting) is almost like pornography, created especially for you,” Dr. Michelle Drouin, a professor of psychology at Purdue University Fort Wayne, previously told Elite Daily. "Basically, either pornographic images or erotica — texts — crafted for you by someone you know. I think the draw is the customization of sexual communication. And sex is popular.”
Maybe you’re trying to schedule some one-on-one time, or maybe you’re trying to spice up a long-distance situationship. Before you can really get into the heat of the conversation, you need the perfect opening line. Here are some funny sexting jokes, double entendres, and other messages that will really get your point across — and let you get right to the good part.
- I was feeling a little off today, but just thinking about you turned me back on.
- You must be freezing — you’ve been naked in my mind for a while.
- I’ve been feeling down, and I’d rather be feeling you up.
- I’m jealous of your clothing. It’s touching your body, and I’m not.
- I love my bed, but you know what I love more? Yours.
- I wish I were your phone, so I could be on you all day.
- Your face is a work of art. I wanna frame it with my legs.
- What time do you get off? Can I watch?
- I’ve been staying on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
- Want to order some food tonight? Takeout is my second favorite thing to eat in bed, if you know what I mean.
- Want a job? It blows.
- Wanna come over and watch some porn on my full-length mirror?
- Into sales? I hear clothing is 100% off at my place tonight.
- Don’t let this go to your head, but do you want some?
- I’m wasted, but the condom I keep in my bag doesn’t have to be.
- You know what would look really great on you tonight? Me.
- Don’t ever change. Just get naked.
- I think tonight, we should celebrate having sex with even more sex.
- Are you up for some casual sex tonight, or should I dress up?
Sexting doesn’t have to feel like you’re co-writing an erotic novel or “haha, then what”-ing your way through a conversation. Have fun with it! And remember that most of the time, nothing’s wittier — or hotter — than telling someone, in your own words, how much you want them.
Dr. Michelle Drouin, relationship expert and psychology professor
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