I'm a solid five-ish dates in with a new guy in my life. And I have to say, it's going pretty great.
Conversations are frequent, but not daily. The affection is there, but he's not breathing down my neck. Plus, he's a looker (and he's Jewish, so I know my mother would already approve).
In most cases, I'd be going through the motions, avoiding the "what are we" talk until absolutely necessary. I mean, we haven't even had sex yet. If I haven't disclosed my drawer of sex toys to you, it's clear we aren't trying to rush into things.
Unfortunately, that diaper-wearing man baby named Cupid and his dangerously pointy arrows are about to throw my entire slow-burning plan off course.
Yes, Valentine's Day is slowly approaching.
I just haaaaad to go and hook up with someone early in the year. I couldn't keep it in my pants until February 15th, could I?
According to Elite Daily's Valentine's Day survey, 76 percent of men would celebrate the love-centric holiday with someone they've been seeing for six months. That number slowly but surely decreases the longer you're with your lover, dropping to 67 percent with a respective two years dating time.
So... we should get on that before we fizzle out, right?
I realized it would be hard to get around this. If I want to spend quality time with him on one of the most romantic nights of the year, something will have to be discussed.
And now, I find myself in complete and utter panic.
I don't want this thing to get messed up. We're at a point where things seem promising, but I still find myself overthinking the texts I send him.
(Not that it's not my fault or anything — the guy still has his goddamn read receipts on. That has anxiety written all over it.)
Whenever I'm waiting for him to come over, there's always that exciting uncertainty when I think about how our night will play out. For someone who plans out his life weeks in advance, I'm enjoying the mystery of not knowing the future.
I haven't brought up Valentine's Day at all. But now, I'm saying “fuck it.” I don't want to prance around the topic and pretend that Valentine's Day isn't happening. To be honest, I don't feel the need to.
It's not like I'm asking for his hand in marriage or trying to decide if we should have two kids or three. All I want to do is celebrate Valentine's Day with the guy I like.
But for an unfortunately awkward situation like this one, it's best to go into it with zero expectations. I may already know his favorite food, but to be honest, I have no idea what his stance on Valentine's Day is.
Is he a giver? Does he love showering other people with gifts? Or does he hate red and pink, and therefore, prefers to hole himself up to avoid celebrating the all red and pink holiday altogether?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Our survey also found that 68 percent of men wouldn't be the least bit disappointed if they didn't celebrate the holiday with their partners.
I don't know where my guy stands, and that's exactly why it's important to take the risk. It's OK to bring things up without pouring my heart out about where we're headed. There's no need to get sappy.
It's just plain stupid to play this day off like it's just another random weekday. This is Valentine's Day. It's here, and it's for people who are dating.
I'm not looking for an extravagant dinner. Gifts aren't a requirement either. I just want to be with him on this romantic day because, no matter how long we've been seeing each other, we're involved romantically.
So it's completely OK to keep our Valentine's Day casual just like any other date night, while still recognizing the day and having fun while we're at it.
Where's the harm in that?