My boyfriend has asked me to marry him more than once, but I've never said "yes."
The question is never made in a grand proposal type of way like in the movies or viral YouTube videos, but my heart still melts every time he asks because I know, see and feel how sincerely and seriously he wants a future for us.
I've lost count of how many times he's asked me. But I remember the very first time he popped the question, I answered with just a simple nod and a blank face.
He knows why I wasn't ready to answer the first time, but he still continues to ask even though all I've given him in response is silence.
I love him, so technically there's no reason we can't move forward to the next step. But I don't think there's a difference in getting married today or getting married a few years from now.
But then again, where's the sense in waiting if you know you love each other?
We haven't known each other for long, but when it comes to relationships, quality is much more valuable than quantity.
The relationship isn't defined by the amount of time you've been together, it's defined by the quality of time spent together and the memories created in that time.
During the short time I've been with my boyfriend, I feel as if I've known him for years. And since the day I realized my feelings for him, all I've wanted is to be with him. Not just today, but for good.
My silence and blank face when he proposes to me don't mean I don't want a future with him. I want to scream "YES!" each and every time he asks me.
It pains me that I'm not able to do it, but I'm sorry, I just couldn't find it in me to say "yes."
Marriage isn't just about the two of us. It's about me, and it's about him. Each of us are separate beings outside of the relationship.
I still have dreams to pursue and fulfill, and he does too.
Before marrying him, I wanted to achieve my dreams and be the best in my chosen career.
I wanted my boyfriend to be proud of me. I wanted him to be proud he's with an accomplished girl. I wanted him to marry an accomplished woman.
By giving all my best in my chosen path and achieving my goals, he'll be able to do that.
I've always thought we were still young. We still have a good life ahead of us — an exciting, young adult life. We can still do whatever we want and be young and happy together, without marriage. But now, my mind is starting to change.
My friends ask me which will I choose: My career or my boyfriend?
The answer now is very clear in both my head and my heart. I don't hesitate to say I'll choose him over my career, and I'll choose my family over my work.
So the next time my boyfriend asks me to marry him, my answer will be "yes."
You have all the time in the world to get a job and build a career, but finding someone who will love you unconditionally is a once-in-a-lifetime find.
Yes, I have dreams to pursue. But I can pursue these dreams with him by my side. In fact, pursuing them will be better because I'll have him by my side, supporting me every step of the way. We'll achieve our goals together.
We can enjoy our young lives together. We can go to parties, we can travel and we can meet new people together. All of those things will be even more fun because we'll have each other to share the exciting memories with.
I may have given him unspoken, unsure answers before, but everything is now very clear.
Even though there will be no fireworks, grand flash mobs or live bands, the next time my boyfriend asks me to marry him, the answer will be "yes."
It was a "yes" yesterday, a "yes" today and will be a "yes" tomorrow. It's always been "yes," I just had to realize it.