"I had too many beans with my lunch, and now, I can't stop farting." "I cry every time I finish." "I'm a little dry and crusty down there." "I'm really not accepting any new visitors."
What do all of those random sentences have in common? Well, aside from being gross, they're all bad excuses to avoid sex.
If you just can't WAIT to get more of those (because maybe you don't want to have sex, and you're looking for a bad excuse to get out of it), well, you are in luck! The hashtag #BadExcusesToAvoidSex is trending on Twitter, and yeah, they're literally that bad.
Luckily, if you're in need of some inspiration for your next awful excuse, I've shared some of the best ones here with you.
Siblings can definitely be a mood killer.
Had a huge lunch, sorry.
Mentions of your parents are also a huge mood killer.
Do people even still play Farmville?
Sorry, this person I've never met before died.
You literally don't even wanna see how hairy my balls are RN.
My joints have been cracking like crazy lately.
No, we do not need any unwelcome guests, thank you.
I haven't had sex in a really, really, really long time.
Bet you didn't even know I was pregnant!
Cartoons are always greater than sex... apparently.
Let's be real: Do we honestly have enough time for this?
My underwear has really, really tight security. I don't make the rules.
You know, maybe we shouldn't be doing this in the middle of a fast food restaurant?
This is just low.
The gynecologist stops for literally no one.
Yeah, these are all pretty freaking bad. But they'll all definitely get you out of whatever sex session you're having. Got your own bad excuses to avoid sex? Comment them below!
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