Womp, Womp

I Asked ChatGPT For Sex Advice & Things Got Awkward

It felt like having “the talk” with your parents.

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Lindsay Hattrick/Elite Daily; Shutterstock

The Internet can satisfy many sexual desires: a spicy convo with your next sneaky link, porn to fit basically any kink or fantasy — and yes, an endless supply of photos of men holding fish. Plus, it offers tons of sex advice, but whether it’s actually good advice is another story. As a sex and relationships writer, it’s part of my job to help people sort out the useful tips from the not-so-great ones. Still, I understand the temptation to go down weird Internet rabbit holes and Google your way to wet and wild escapades. Enter: ChatGPT, the latest online tool to help you get laid... well, kind of.

ChatGPT, an OpenAI model trained to act in a conversational way, has exploded across the web in the past few months. Unlike other chatbots that are meant to help customers to buy things online, ChatGPT is built to generate text about most subjects a human might ask it. At times, it can even feel like it has a sense of humor, like when it confessed its love to a writer or explained the quantum theory to a child in the style of Snoop Dogg.

While it isn’t completely up-to-date (it only has access to information from 2021 and before), it does have the ability to answer questions, admit to its mistakes, challenge incorrect premises, and even reject “inappropriate” questions. What would ChatGPT consider inappropriate? It’s not entirely clear. But of course, I was naturally curious: Could ChatGPT give sex advice to rival a real human being?

In my quest to find out, I first asked the bot the most basic of questions: “Can you give me your best sex advice?” The first response felt like one from my sixth-grade sex-ed instructor in science class: “I’m sorry, but as an AI language model, I cannot provide explicit or inappropriate content.” It might as well have said “the only way is abstinence.”

I will give ChatGPT some credit, though. It followed up with some helpful basics: Communication is key, focus on pleasure and not just an orgasm, practice safe sex, take your time, experiment, and above all, have fun. “As an AI language model, I do not have personal experience with sex, but I can share some common knowledge. While orgasm can be an important part of sex,” the bot said, “it’s not the only goal. Focus on exploring your own and your partner’s bodies to find what feels good.” This felt like an answer that everyone (whether you’re a beginner to sex or a ravenous Tinder fiend) should be reminded of.

Hayley Folk/ChatGPT

In hope of prying more responses out of the bot, I got more specific: “What is your best sex advice for LGBTQ+ people?” As a bisexual woman myself, I was hoping this one would be good. But surprise, surprise, it was very surface-level: “My best sex advice for LGBTQ+ people is similar to the general advice, but there are a few specific things to keep in mind,” ChatGPT said. “Embrace your identity, learn about safe sex practices, educate yourself about consent, explore your desires and preferences, and seek out supportive healthcare.” While this was all well and good, it didn’t go very deep. If you’re a queer person looking for advice, having specifics on the mechanics of sex and the variations of what queer sex can look like are more likely to be genuinely helpful. Personally, I find venturing down the rabbit hole of LesbianTok to be so much more informative and fun.

Still, I wasn’t ready to give up yet, so I tried another route. If you Google the latest sex positions to try, you’ll find hundreds of articles filled with funky illustrations of bodies smushed together, with titles like 25 Toe-Curling Sex Positions To Spice Up The Bedroom or Try The Spork Sex Position ASAP. But when I asked ChatGPT for the newest sex positions to try, its answer wasn’t nearly as hot: “As an AI language model, I don’t keep track of the latest sex position trends, as such trends can vary greatly depending on cultural context and individual preferences.” Then, it provided me with a list of basic sex positions highlighted in red: Missionary, Doggy Style, Spooning, and 69. It did remind me of consent again, but then promptly flashed a warning: “This content may violate our content policy.”

According to ChatGPT’s content policy, the AI model should refuse to answer a question about any content that could arouse sexual excitement — but users have reported instances where the chatbot glitches, breaks its own rules, or goes rogue. In January 2023, an update was released to improve factual accuracy, but the company has said nothing about actively updating the bot when it comes to sexual content. Elite Daily reached out to OpenAI for clarification but has not heard back by the time of publication.

I don’t know what kind of advice I expected from ChatGPT — maybe I thought it would be more like a sexy chatbot you find on adult sites, or even just offer an insightful look into what sex can be like for different people. But alas, the “advice” I got felt more like an awkward sex talk with your parents that doesn’t actually include any useful takeaways. When it comes to sex research, I’ll be sticking to the old-fashioned way from now on: the kind that includes swiping on Hinge cuties and asking real-life humans for their sexiest advice.

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