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Question from the reader:
So, I've never done this before and honestly feel kind of nervous about it. I've asked a lot of my female friends and some older men with more dating and life experience, but I seem to get the same answers.
Maybe it's time for some outside help to see if the answer is still the same. Get ready for a story because I can't exactly ask my question without the story that goes with it.
I met this girl almost a year ago online. We met once in person and really seemed to connect, but she was already starting a new relationship with some other guy.
Time goes on, we continue to talk and she breaks up with her boyfriend. We start talking more and more and finally agree to hang out a month or two after the breakup. Things go great, and we end up hooking up that first night.
We hang out one more time a week after, and she tells me she doesn't want to hang out with single guys anymore because she doesn't want to be in a relationship, even though she told me she liked me quite a bit.
Well, that was just her excuse so she could go date someone else, which made me feel pretty shitty. I get over it and stop talking to her.
Fast-forward to the middle of June. She contacts me saying she's sorry for being an asshole and not talking to me. I accept her apologies and leave it at that.
At this point, I still like her, which made it hard to not talk to her.
She contacts me a week later, and I decide I'll talk to her and see how's she's doing. She tells me she wants to hang out with me. Now, I still like her, so I agree to hang out.
She is still hitting me with the "I don't want to be in a relationship" line. It's been almost a month, and things are going really good.
We hang out as much as possible in our free time, do things together, go on dates, hold hands and kiss in public, and we've even taken to calling each other babe and love. The things people who are in a relationship do.
So, here's my question. What do I do?
Holy fuckballs, M! We've got a fuckgirl on our hands. What a rare and bizarre breed of female. As a former fuckgirl myself, I know a lot about this.
My boyfriend forced me to stop being an asshole. He snagged me, the reigning fuckgirl supreme, so I certainly know it can be done.
I wrote an article on this, and you can read that here, but I'll give you a quick synopsis of how my Michael forced me out of my fuckgirl ways. Basically, we started having sex, and I was all about that. After a week (Maybe a few weeks?) he was like, "I want to be your boyfriend."
I basically shit my pants because I DID NOT WANT THAT. I was really clear about it. I didn't want to be serious. He let that go on for a while because he was really into me, but after four months, he was over it. He told me I could either commit, or he was done.
It made me take a good, hard look at my life. And I had an epiphany. I didn't want to face life without him.
So, I stopped being a fuckgirl and now we live together and everything is bomb.
She dates around and never likes to commit to one guy. Guys want to date her because she's really cool, but she's a player. Ya feel me?
A fuckgirl wants to have all the benefits of a relationship — the attention, the kissing, the unbridled devotion — but none of the pesky commitment.
This is what's up. This girl wants to have her cake and eat it, too. She wants you to do all the boyfriend-type things, but she also want to get that strange peen. She wants the best of all worlds.
Unfortunately for homegirl, this is now how life works. So, what to do?
My guess is, she really does like you. I would lay down the law. You seem like a choice dude, M. You shouldn't let yourself get jerked around like this. Tell her to shit or get off the pot.
If she's worth it, she'll come around. If not, GTFO because she just showed you who she really is. And you don't need that shit.
Hope this helps!
Yours in lust, XOXO Auntie Gigi
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