I recently kissed someone for the first time in eight months. Yes, I am admitting to the world that I am a big, huge prude. And to be honest, unlike riding a bike, I didn't really remember how to do it. We clinked teeth, I kept my eyes open accidentally, and I kept my arms pinned to my sides like I was frozen solid. I had to wonder to myself, am I a bad kisser? Because in my head, I definitely think I was.
Well, to my surprise, the guy ended up coming back for more and asked me on a second date, where we made out, and it was much better. So that's a good thing: Kissing and chemistry between people can be improved with time and practice. But have you ever dated a bad kisser before? Someone who licks your entire face like they're giving you a bath or has breath like a hot dumpster that they blow into your face while approaching you? It's the worst. But no one wants to be dumped just because of their bad kissing style.
To prevent that from happening, here are five foolproof kissing tips that'll drive your partner crazy during a make-out session. Because being or dating a bad kisser is no good.
1. Keep Your Breath Fresh
Have you ever kissed someone who just ate an onion, recently finished a tuna sandwich, or gargled pickle juice? OK, maybe those are unrealistic examples, but how about someone who just woke up from a nap or smoked a cigarette? It does not taste great. So before making out with someone, freshen up first.
That means keep some gum in your purse or pocket while you're on a date, or at least brush your teeth before leaving the house. Invest in some Altoids. Most restaurants offer mints on the way out — grab one after dinner if you're on a date. Because when it comes to kissing, the fresher the better.
2. Close Your Damn Eyes
Making out with someone who is staring at you is very scary. It feels like you are hooking up with a murderer. What are they looking at? Are they OK? Is this a medical emergency?
If you're mid-make-out with someone who is incredibly gorgeous, sometimes, you want to check them out because you're in awe that you get to put your face on top of their face. Well, don't do that. Stare at them later, and close your eyes while you're playing tonsil hockey. If you keep your lids peeled during the entirety of a make-out session, most likely, you'll never get another one again.
3. Don't Use Too Much Tongue
Too much tongue is the worst. In fact, I'm good with kissing that involves little to no tongue. Tongue is overrated. I don't need someone's limp, germ-y tongue in my mouth. I also don't need a lizard tongue, darting in and out of me, or a tongue swirling around inside quickly like a fan.
There's more harm that can be done with a tongue than good. So if you're going to use yours, use it sparingly. Every once in a while, stick it in and swirl it gently and slowly around your partner's. Then, remove it, leaving them wondering if they'll ever see it again.
The tongue should be mysterious in kissing. It plays hard to get. It shows up and then runs away. The tongue is a coy mistress, not a lizard, fan, or limp, soaking-wet animal lying dead in your partner's mouth.
4. Bite A Bit
Want to turn your partner on and get a little rough and sexy while kissing? A bite will do the trick.
Important note: Not everyone goes for this, especially if you do it too hard. But a gentle bite or suck on the bottom lip will accelerate arousal and sensuality between you and your partner, and turn a PG make-out session into something a little more R-rated.
5. Put Your Whole Body Into It
Kissing doesn't just involve your mouth; it's a whole body activity. So press up against your partner. Rub your hands around their body. Put your hands under their shirt. If you're feeling extra frisky, why not touch a butt?
This also means you shouldn't neglect their neck or ears while you're at it. These are powerful erogenous zones and feel great when kissed or gently licked. So take a few seconds to pay attention to these areas mid-make-out session, and then, return to kissing when you're done. It'll definitely blow your partner away, and take the experience to the next level.
So when it comes to kissing, it doesn't have to be catastrophic if you follow these simple rules. Everyone can be trained to kiss a little better, so you don't taste like an ash tray or kiss with a lizard tongue. Just keep it slow and sensual, and remember to put your whole body into it. Plus, the first kiss is awkward anyway, and things always get better with time. Just keep on smooching until you get it right.
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