Love Is Blind
Alexa Alfia from 'Love Is Blind' Season 3

Alexa Lemieux Has The Most Genius Sex Advice

And handcuffs may be involved.

Elite Daily; Courtesy of Alexa Lemieux

Alexa Alfia Lemieux is tired of being asked if she “wears the pants” in her marriage. “People sometimes think I run this relationship, and that's the funniest thing,” she tells Elite Daily. “Yes, I’m loud and outspoken, and some people find that very intimidating.” But her husband, Brennon Lemieux, adores that about her. “I don't think that that makes him any less of a man — in fact, I know it makes him more of one.” Plus, she insists there’s way more balance to their dynamic than people might think.

Alexa, 27, and Brennon, 32, met on Love Is Blind Season 3, and viewers saw them get engaged in the very first episode. (Though all LIB engagements actually happened on day 10, Alexa says the show accurately portrayed how quickly they fell for each other. “On day two in the pods, I wrote Brennon’s name in my journal, and it says ‘I love him’ with a heart,” she recalls.) Aside from their shared home of Dallas, they came from vastly different backgrounds — Brennon a soft-spoken country guy, Alexa a bold, flawlessly dressed Jewish woman — but their connection was instantaneous. “We are really the exact same person,” she says.

Though their relationship may have its critics, they’ve also gained legions of fans — Lizzo among them. On Nov. 10, the singer posted a TikTok reacting to the Love Is Blind weddings, and she promised she’d send Alexa some Yitty merch (which Alexa confirms is indeed on its way). “Someone in my family texted [the video] to me and I was like, ‘Wait, what? She actually said my name,’” Alexa laughs. “And then Kim Kardashian tweeted, ‘watching Love Is Blind Season 3,’ and I'm like, ‘Oh my God.’ Somewhere in the back of her mind if someone said, ‘Alexa from Love Is Blind,’ she'd be like, ‘Oh yeah, I know her.’”

Here, Alexa shares her favorite underrated thing about Brennon, her advice for finding the love of your life, and the sex tips she knows can improve your relationship.

ED: What surprised you the most about life with Brennon outside of filming?

Alexa: Everything with Brennon is kind of a surprise, but in a really fun way. I used to take myself very seriously and be more uptight, and now even my family is like, “Alexa, I've never seen the side of you.” Brennon and I have the weirdest conversations and it's really funny. When people come over and hang out with us, they're like, “What the hell?”

I'm nicer and more vulnerable than people saw on the show, and then with Brennon, he's so funny and he can be so dirty. Everyone is always saying, “Oh, Alexa has no problem talking about sex,” but listen, there's a reason why me and Brennon work.

ED: You got a reputation for being super sex-positive on the show. Do you have any sex tips you can share?

Alexa: Communication is so important. I talked about it a little bit while we were filming — the first few days with Brennon, the physical stuff was great, but I was thinking, “This is the rest of my life.” Day three, we talked more about things, and then… wow. We really did take the communication we learned from the pods and apply it in all areas. Sex is a really important one, because this is the only person I'm going to have sex with from now on. It's got to be good.

You should always feel comfortable with your person to be able to say, “I like the way you did this, and can we do a little bit more of this?” Also, handcuffs are fun, and anyone can use them.

ED: How does sex change when it's someone that you really love and you're planning on spending your life with?

Alexa: Sex is a very vulnerable thing. You're really sharing everything you are with that person, especially when you love them. I've never been insecure around Brennon. I love him so much, and I know he loves me the same way.

When you really lean into that connection with someone, incredible things can happen. For instance, I don't think foreplay starts right before you have sex — it starts when you wake up in the morning. Little things throughout the day, from the first kiss to exchanging texts, for me that all counts as foreplay.

ED: What is the most meaningful thing you’ve learned from your relationship?

Alexa: Life just means so much more having my person with me. I used to think of myself as very independent. I would joke around, “I hope I marry a doctor because then he'll never be home and I can live my life.” It's weird how obsessed I am with Brennon. I would hang out with him 24/7 if I could. It makes a difference when you're doing things with your best friend — being able to share gossip, share families, share traditions, and share little dogs. Everything's just in color now.

ED: What is one underrated thing you love about Brennon?

Alexa: His jokes. I wish the show had shown more of them. He's so funny, and he can do the best impersonations I've ever seen. He will narrate “conversations” between our two dogs for an hour, and I'll be crying with laughter. I need to do a whole skit and film it.

People have such an issue with me being a strong woman. But if I’m not dating you, if I’m not married to you, why do you care?

ED: What do you see as your strength as a partner? And then after seeing the show, what’s something you want to work on?

Alexa: I would say that I've given Brennon different views for the future. He told me back in the pods that he never really saw himself getting married, but obviously I changed that viewpoint because he married my *ss.

Watching the show, it was hard for me to see how I struggled to express my love. But obviously Brennon knew how much I loved him, or he never would've married me. I started crying when I watched it back, and he said, "No, I felt the love you had. You may not have been able to express it, but I knew how much you loved me." It takes a long time to retrain yourself on how to love someone well. It took time and I got there.

ED: How did you know Brennon was the one?

Alexa: It was his warm personality, his kind heart, his laughter, and the way he would joke and tell stories. I fell in love with all of it. Day three in the pods, I decided he was it for me. On the morning of day four, I told him, "Hey, if you're feeling it for someone else, please pursue that, but I think I'm going to go home." And he was like, "Well, you're it for me." I walked out and told producers I didn’t want to talk to anyone else. When you know, you know.

ED: What’s your most important piece of dating advice?

Alexa: I’d tell people to be vulnerable, and if you love someone, put yourself out there. I had that feeling with Brennon. It would've been easy for me just to peace out and go home, but I laid my heart out to him, and it worked out. Here we are married a year and a half later.

ED: Do you have a celebrity couple you admire?

Alexa: Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. I love the way they mess with each other, and that’s how me and Brennon are.

ED: What is a fear you used to have about dating or relationships that you overcame through Love is Blind?

Alexa: There's a saying where you throw a bunch of spaghetti on the wall to see what sticks. You should date a lot, get out there, and find out what you don't like. I never really put myself out there, and I think that was the biggest issue I had with dating pre-Love Is Blind. Then when you’re dating 15 guys at once on the show, it becomes clear very quickly who you connect with.

ED: What is one misconception people might have about your relationship after watching the show?

Alexa: I keep seeing stupid posts from men saying I'm running the relationship. And I'm like, "Sir, I would never even look at you. I'm not going to take your advice." People have such an issue with me being a strong woman. But if I’m not dating you, if I’m not married to you, why do you care?

Brennon and I are both very respectful of each other and vocal about what we like and don’t like. Our communication is on point, and we have a mutual respect for each other. There is no “wearing of the pants” in the relationship.

ED: What does love mean to you, especially now that you've gone through this experience?

Alexa: Brennon and I say “I love you,” but we also say “I'm in love with you” because you can love a lot of things. You can love pizza, you can love your grandma, you can love your dog. But to say that you're in love with something is very different. We reserve that phrase for each other.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

In Everything I’ve Learned About Love (So Far), celebrities share their most heartfelt and heartbreaking lessons about dating, relationships, and breakups, and offer their best advice.