Jovo Jovanovic

What Girls Text Vs. What They Really Mean

Texting truly is an art form.

This is especially true when you're trying to impress someone to win them over. My girls and I used to huddle over one of our phones, trying to decipher boy-talk texts.

However for guys, it takes away a lot more than just pride to discuss a girl's text with their fellow guy friends. So this one's for you boys who are having a hard time with mixed-signal messages. And girls, this is for your entertainment because it can't get any truer.

Let's start with the basics:


What she means:

OK, that was funny, but please know that I typed my hahas with a straight face. So don't flatter yourself and think you're hilarious.

Text: Omg! I'm so sorry, I thought I replied but I forgot.

Yeah, right. I totally forgot.

Text: Good morning! :)

What she means:

I enjoy texting you, and want to talk to you throughout the day. Also, you're one of the first things on my mind when I wake up, so appreciate that.

Text: Wanna grab coffee?

What she means:

I am genuinely interested in you, and I'd really like to spend some quality time getting to know you. Please don't ask if you can bring your friends along.

Done with appetizers, now on to the main course.

These require a bit more than just taking them at face value:

Interpreting a conversation:

You: What are plans today?

Her: Nothing much.

You: Had breakfast?

Her: Yes.

You: What did you eat?

Her: Toast.

You: Wow, that's nice.

Her: Yes.

You: So, you going to have lunch later?

Her: Yes.

Stop trying so hard and STOP BUGGING MY LIFE. I have no interest in talking to you AT ALL and you won't get anywhere asking a million and one questions about nothing specific. If my reply doesn't end with 'and you?', it means I don't bother enough to keep the conversation going. Move along, boy.

Text: We should meet up soon.

What she means:

I have no intention of meeting up with you anytime soon. I'm just saying this so you won't keep asking me.

Text: Aww, that's so sweet.

What she means:

You are such a cutie. And you've just won me over. Please be dad to my kids.

Text: Can (insert name) come too?

What she means:

I know you just asked me out, one-on-one, but I don't appreciate spending alone time with you so I'm going to bring my friend just to piss you off.

Text: You're so nice.

What she means:

I really like you. As a friend. Don't crack your head over this.

Text: I kinda like you. (BONUS: with *see-no-evil monkey emoji*)

What she means:

I'm indiscreetly flirting with you. I want you to be mine now. With the emoji: I AM SOOO FLIRTING WITH YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BE MINE NOW.

Ok now, enough with the easy stuff. The next few texts need a bit more than common sense to understand:

Text: We should go there one day! + *picture of a place*

What she means:

I'm including you in my future plans because you're not just a temporary fixture in my life. What I'm trying to tell you is that you're really important to me, and I specifically choose you to visit that place with.

Text: I'm not ready for a relationship yet/I'm not looking for a relationship right now

What she means:

This is almost always just a nice way of saying 'You're not my type and I'll never date you ever.' So don't wait around, it won't get you anywhere.

There was once a guy who texted me every day.

I gave him this excuse, but sadly this article wasn't in existence (you guys are lucky, you're welcome) so he ended up texting me for three years thinking that I'd one day be ready.

I ended up dating someone else (yup, what a bitch I was).

Text: Can I ask you something?

What she means:

Depending on the question that follows, there are a three ways in which you could react. You either (i) just answer a simple question stress-free, (ii) face questions about your love life, past, present and future or (iii) start recalling what you did three Mondays ago at 6:39 pm.

Tread lightly.

And lastly, the infamous line.

Text: I'm fine.

What she means:

Everyone knows this: Most of the time, if she's been cold toward you and she tells you she's fine, she's not. She doesn't want to talk about it but at the same time, she wants to.

She wants you to ask her what's wrong just to see that you care. This isn't something you can understand. You just have to know. (And look out for that full stop there. Full stops mean real serious business.)

Congratulations, you are now a competent texter.

Interpret her texts accordingly, and you will be guaranteed to have her sending you the text (with emoji) in point number 10 in no time.