There's nothing I hate more than hitting the gym in the winter.
I'm all for staying fit, but peeling myself off the couch, layering my gym clothes under a ridiculous puffer coat and braving chilly conditions just to shred my muscles? Nah.
What I need is the perfect f*cking playlist. Typical spin class classics like Katy Perry's God-awful "Firework" won't stop me from throwing down my five-pound dumbbells and running back to my bed sheets.
I need the perfect arrangement of songs with fast beats per minute, a "b*tch you can do this!" anthem and tracks that accurately express how badly I don't want to be sweating this profusely in my vagina area.
When you don't even want to get out of bed, trust in Beyoncé.
When Beyoncé tells you "smack it in the air," there's no way you can sit still.
Sure, this song is filled with repetitive instructions about not dropping alcohol, but the high-energy jam will motivate you to actually get dressed for the gym and break a sweat.
When the girl next to you is killing it but you're dying, Rihanna is on your side.
After the first 12 vertical leg lifts, when your muscles are begging you to stop, poke fun at yourself with the help of RiRi's island-infused vocals.
Let the Bajan bad gal say exactly what your body wishes it could: "Someone help me!"
When your ex (and his stupid new girlfriend) are workout motivation, Icona Pop will fuel your fire.
Play: "I Love It"
You know why you braved the snowy hills on the sidewalk and 30-degree weather just to work out? You want to look better than your ex-boyfriend's new boo.
It's a shallow excuse to hit the gym, but at this point you need any reason to keep throwing jabs.
When you decide to work for a "summer body," Demi Lovato is there to motivate you.
Play: "Cool For The Summer" by Demi Lovato
The snow is a Debbie Downer, but imagining the summer sun and pool days will motivate you to keep up your fitness pace.
If you only signed up for spin class because you want to flaunt your stuff when bikini season hits, let Demi push you harder.
When all you can think about is the Talenti waiting for you at home, JLo will whip you into shape.
Play: "Waiting For Tonight"
You've barreled through three miles on the treadmill and a BOSU ball routine, but now all you think can about is getting back into your bed.
But as JLo croons, you have to hold on. The calories can wait.
When your trainer gets annoyingly motivational, tune her out with Meghan Trainor.
Play: "Lips Are Movin'"
Paying for a personal trainer who encourages you to work harder in the gym was a good idea. But, at some point you'll tell him or her to STFU.
This fast-paced pop song will keep your heart rate up and drown out that incessant cheerleading.
When you finally get focused, Jessie J will be on your level.
Play: "Burning Up"
Dripping with sweat? Losing your breath? Jessie J knows your life. This energetic single's got enough fist-pumping moments to keep you blazing through the last four minutes of your run.
When you're ready to cool down, let Britney be your guide.
Play: "Me Against The Music"
Congrats, you didn't die! Coast through some light stretching on a yoga mat with a mellow pop hit.