Why Women Need To Help Each Other, Not Bring Each Other Down

by Jayna Taylor-Smith

In this day and age, women seem to be more concerned with their physical appearances than ever before.

It used to be that we dressed ourselves to seek approval from men, but now it seems we are seeking approval from other women.

This seems counterproductive, doesn't it? (Unless you want attention from women, that's fine, too.) But it turns out, women judge each other much more than men judge women.

And, if anything is true at all, most guys can't even tell the difference between our French braids and our fishtail braids.

So, don't expect a guy to understand how many tutorials you watched or how much your arm ached after all that work.

A girl, on the other hand, will easily walk past you, laugh and judge the fact that you didn't hide your bobby pin correctly. (And by correctly, I mean the way the thousands of beauty gurus and Pinterest posts told you to do it.)

As much as we try to believe we are good people, how many times have you found yourself sitting with your girlfriends at a restaurant, eyeing another set of ladies and whispering about their outfit choices or one of their haircuts?

If you answered none, you must be some sort of saint because it's human nature to automatically see something and form an opinion about it.

The thing is, forming an opinion is one thing, but hating on someone is another. What's the point of it? What you like might not be what someone else likes. What you want to wear might not be what someone else feels comfortable wearing.

What good is it to talk about how ugly you think a girl's hot pink lipstick is? Let the woman live! If it makes her happy, and she clearly felt confident enough to leave the house wearing it, leave her be.

As women, we need to stick together and be there for each other. We need to focus on bringing each other's confidence up, not pushing it down. We are all we have.

No matter how hard I try, my hair just will not look like Blake Lively's in all those L'Oréal commercials, nor will my "I just rolled out of bed" look seem as effortless as all the models in nearly every Pink campaign.

And, I'm sure as hell not going to apologize for it.

With the media already telling us we should to look a certain way, who will be there to tell us we are beautiful just the way we are? We can't play Bruno Mars on repeat forever, people.

If you see someone in the mall or on the way to class and you like his or her outfit, don't be shy.

Share that you think the person looks good; I promise, it will make his or her day. Think about it: Wouldn't you want someone to tell you how nice he or she thought you looked?

I saw a girl in the library this week with lilac, ombré hair, and I told her I thought it looked awesome. It was easy to see it made her happy that I noticed.

For some people, getting dressed, putting on makeup and doing hair is an art form. And, which artist doesn't want his or her art appreciated?

This doesn't mean you have to go around, searching for people to compliment; it just means you should stop drinking so much haterade and keep the negative comments to yourself. Share the positive ones with those around you.

Do and say things that have a positive purpose.

It also means that if you think you look good, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Do whatever makes you feel confident. Dress for yourself, even if it means people stare at you in the streets or at school.

If they do, it just means you were brave enough to do something they never will.

Express yourself how you wan.

You only get to live your life once, so you might as well live it how you want to.