39 Ways That Your Starbucks Addiction Is Dictating Your Life

by Ashley Fern

Your Starbucks experience can either be heaven or hell -- it all depends on the day. But there's one thing that is clear: You aren't starting your day without it. It's a part of your morning ritual: wake up, get dressed, head to Starbucks, then head to the office.

Morning ritual? Try entire daily ritual because you know as soon as 2 pm rounds the clock, you will be heading out for your second cup... if you haven't already.

But, seriously, where would we be without our daily dose of caffeine? I'll tell you... taking nap after nap on our keyboards after staring at Excel for hours on end. You can't get through the week, let alone the day, without it. But, enough, let's get to all of the ways your life revolves around Starbucks:

1. It's a different way to drink your calories without getting hungover the next day

2. A small iced coffee is sufficient enough caffeine and only costs $2

3. It's expanding its menu to include wine, reaching out to the inner-alcoholic in all of us

4. The 30-minute line is a great excuse to get away from work

5. Caffeine is more addicting than carbs and it has fewer calories

6. It's the go-to Instagram picture when you have nothing else to upload

7. Because you're probably drinking it right now

8. The barista will, more than likely, screw up your order

9. The worst way to start the morning is taking a sip of what you thought was an unsweetened green tea, only to chug a giant gulp of sugar water

10. You will be charged extra for soy milk

11. It owns your bank account since it's the top priority of your weekly life

12. You spend time counting down the days until you can feast on all the different Pumpkin Spice concoctions

13. The baristas recognize you and have your order memorized

14. It's the best assistant at work you could ever ask for

15. You got visibly upset when the barista told you Starbucks discontinued your favorite breakfast: Veggie Artisan sandwich

16. You secretly believe that every time you place your order, the barista will f*ck it up

17. If you don't have a Gold card, it's your biggest goal in life to obtain one

18. But, let's be serious, you got a Gold card months ago

19. You use the Starbucks app more than any other app on your phone

20. You physically can't do any activity without first stopping for coffee

21. You've gotten into a verbal altercation with another customer about who was in line first

22. You think going multiple times in one day is acceptable

23. You've contemplated going out on a date with a barista so that you might get free coffee (or at least a discount)

24. After years and years of consumption, you've somehow built up a resistance to anything smaller than a grande

25. You never feel comfortable ordering from an out-of-town Starbucks

26. You depend on your barista for your daily dose of happiness

27. You see no appeal in other coffee bodegas

28. It doesn't matter how out of the way it is, you will always choose Starbucks over any other option

29. You understand and accept the fact that you need to allot 15 different five-minute slots throughout the day to pee

30. If your name is difficult to pronounce, you get a thrill from giving an easy-to-spell name instead

31. You are on a first-name basis with the Starbucks closest to your office and your apartment, oh and your parents' house

32. You can't comprehend the fact that people actually enjoy drinking decaf

33. You like your caffeine like you like your men: strong

34. You have paid more than $5.25 for a cup, complained about it and did it again the following day

35. You don't even own a Keurig because you just love your trips to Starbucks

36. You say a little prayer every night that Starbucks might offer free refills one day

37. The fact that there are now drive-thru Starbucks locations made your life just a little bit better

38. You actually take it personally when people tell you they don't like Starbucks

39. You stopped reading this halfway through to get another cup

Bonus: When budgeting, you sacrifice meals to make room for your coffee expenditures