Tough Love: 8 Terrible Experiences I Want My Future Daughter To Endure
When you become a parent, it's only natural to want the best for your child, but when I have a child, I wish for something more meaningful than helping him or her through every step of life.
Though I'm not due to be a parent any time in the near future, I've thought about the life I want for my future daughter, and that includes the ups as well as the downs.
Mistakes and sorrows in life make a people stronger and wiser.
Many of us have a friend who has had everything handed to him or her and it's obvious that he or she typically isn't the best at handling what life throws his or her way.
This person isn't very aware of how to handle life because he or she has lived under a perfect little rock for 18 plus years.
I'm not saying my daughter's life should be terrible; she just needs to endure a few terrible experiences to teach her the lessons I'm sure she won't listen to me about anyway. After all, it's those terrible experiences that will define exactly whom she was born to be.
Living with a bad roommate.
It's only natural to bump heads with someone when the room being shared is about the size of a walk-in closet, but I'm talking about living with a seriously bad roommate.
I mean a roommate who leaves the sock on the door for hours every weekend and who has parties in the apartment when my daughter has to wake up early the next day.
There were countless times in college when I had to wake up to work at 8 am Saturday morning and as I'm crawling into bed at 11 pm, hordes of hooligans were flooding into the apartment and creating the sticky mess I through which I would have to maneuver the next morning on my way to work.
What I want her to learn: To step up and ask for what she wants to propel her through life and get her to where she wants to be. Tell that roommate to take her hooligans elsewhere and clean her dishes once a week while she's at it.
Having a fake friend.
I'm talking about the friend who will pretend to listen to my daughter vent and then go tell her boyfriend and all 50 of his friends, who were trashing her apartment the night before.
This is the friend who will take but never give; the friend who will only act when it's in her favor and who will completely break my daughter's blind trust.
What I want her to learn: We all make some bad friends. Give them a second — even a third — chance and after that, let them go. Even though it means letting go of all the good memories, it's the best chance she can give herself at happiness.
Whether it be having every dime in her bank account stolen or moving to an area where she doesn't know a single person, starting over can be refreshing.
There's nothing like having to rebuild your life to pick and choose what elements were really that important to you.
What I want her to learn: What is important to who she wants to be, not what she thinks she should be.
Nothing prepared me more for a real-world apartment more than living from paycheck to paycheck when I was in college.
Having friends and a social life is kind of expensive, so budgeting my money each paycheck was not negotiable.
What I want her to learn: How to budget her money and know when to say no to that pair of totally-overpriced boots that won't last longer than this season.
Nearly everyone goes through being bullied at some point in life. It's how a person handles the situation that makes him or her who he or she is, not what is said about him or her.
While horrific at the time, being bullied gave me thick skin and the motivation to be happy in it. Now, as an adult, I don't take crap from anyone.
What I want her to learn: She should only change for her own happiness, not for the satisfaction of other.
Take crap from no one, not even in the workplace, but always be polite about it when possible. Take constructive criticism, use it wisely and especially don't cry because of it.
Being ditched for a date.
There is no greater awakening that I have felt than being ditched by a date last minute for some lame excuse; if there was an excuse at all. The rejection used to cripple me, but I took that pain and I turned it into confidence.
I gave myself the confidence I needed which, in turn, led to more respect from men and caring less about them if they did ditch me.
What I want her to learn: Don't be discouraged when it doesn't work out with someone. It's way better to see people for who they really are early than invest time only to find out they are f*ck boys.
Falling out of love.
I believe this experience is much different than heartbreak. It's something I've never personally experienced, but I've seen and feared for myself. It's when you love someone but you aren't in love anymore.
What I want her to learn: Never settle because there aren't any better options. If it doesn't feel right, it's not right and while she will temporarily feel alone, she will be much happier in the long run if she falls in love with someone who is perfect for her.
Failing a college class.
I've only failed one class throughout my college experience: Math. I honestly believe there is a part of my brain that never developed to work out anything more than simple math.
Even though this is (probably) an exaggeration, I retook that college class and dedicated my entire semester to it. I passed with a C, but it was the best C I'd ever earned in my life. Note the word "earned."
What I want her to learn: Try her hardest and when that's not enough, there's always a little more in there that she didn't know she had in her. Ambition is everything in life.