Friends are good for two things: giving great advice and making you regret not taking it.
When it comes to your well-being, your friends really do have your best interests at heart. Why then do we refuse to listen to them, especially when they are right? It’s like the more sound advice they give, the more we reject following it.
Cue up “That’s What Friends Are For” and let’s take a trip down memory lane. Warning: It’s going to be painful.
Here are the 20 times you should have taken your friends’ advice but didn’t.
1. The time they advised you not to take that last shot
Your friends know you, and they know you have a penchant for pushing your limits.
What appears to be a seemingly harmless liquid can actually erase all sense of decorum and effectively turn you into a mic-grabbing, table-top-dancing monster.
That’s why they named your alcoholic alter-ego in the first place, to help identify these moments.
2. The time you wanted to wear overalls
Number one: They were practically shants (SHort + pANTS = shants) on you. Number two: They gave you a giant FUPA. And number three: You looked like a minion.
That heinous Instagram post that Becky refuses to take down will teach you to listen.
3. The time you got back with your ex-boyfriend
This isn’t an Aaliyah song. We’re not talking about getting back on horses again. If at first you don’t succeed with men, then don’t try again.
Sometimes your friends can see things more clearly than you can and know what you need in that moment more than you do.
4. The time they said not to cut your hair
Like Ron Burgundy once said, “Milk Bangs was a bad choice.”
5. The time they told you that dress was for children
Your arms not leaving your sides and the unwelcoming stares from admonishing women and lurking men are all evidence that they had a point.
6. The time they tried to convince you to approach the guy you’ve been crushing on
Naturally, this guy has a girlfriend now, and you’ve subsequently learned that he wanted you too. If only you had washed your hair…
7. The time they told you to stop talking in a British accent
Then everyone ignored you and confirmed what you already knew about yourself: Nobody likes you.
8. The time they insisted, “Don’t text him.”
That’s like telling us not to flatiron on our hair. We know it’s bad for us, but we’re going to do it anyway.
And then we’re going to need our friends to still love us when we turn to them for secondary advice after ignoring the first round because that’s what friends are for.
9. The time they warned you not to eat sushi from that gas station
It’s mildly concerning that you even needed to consult your friends on this one. No judgments or anything, but the answer should have been clear here.
10. After any amount of alcohol has been ingested
Anytime you drink in excess, you need to resign yourself over to your handlers, otherwise known as your friends. They should make you sign a waiver by now.
11. The time they vehemently confirmed that you looked good
No one will go shopping with you anymore, nor will they trust you when you say you’ll only take 15 minutes to get ready.
12. The time they shouted at you to wake up
While your friends were off graduating from college, you were too busy graduating into your REM cycle.
Despite employing your friends as personal alarm clocks, you’ve still managed to miss multiple meetings, flights, birthdays and even full days in general.
13. The time that guy you were hooking up with said he was really into the “Real Housewives”
You should have heeded the red flags when he bought you Broadway tickets to “Cabaret” and you didn’t even like the original.
You couldn’t manage to tell your friends about the suspicious Liza poster and they still knew.
14. The time you asked them when to leave for the airport
...And proceeded not to listen... and then missed Grandma’s 90th. Your friends may be perpetually late to your pity party pregame, but they wouldn’t purposely try to f*ck you over.
15. The time you wanted to wear pigtails on your first day of the semester
And everyone kept pointing you to the local high school when you asked for directions to Main Campus. Faculty offered to help you cross the street.
Your professors were confused when they thought you were a teenage prodigy and you turned out to be just... you.
16. The time they tried to stop you from getting naked
In your defense, nudity brought you guys closer. That’s how you create everlasting memories right there.
17. The time they warned you that you can’t take care of that bunny
Floppy is in a better place now.
18. The time they told you to stop telling everyone your name was Sophia
Not even your friends can keep up with your multiple identities. Giving a fake name especially backfires when you end up really liking the guy after. "Uhhh, so I was just being weird me back there."
19. The time they thought you should go home
You took it as a suggestion. It probably should have happened. Your wallet and identification managed to make it home, though. Just not yours. RIP Red Mango punchcard and dignity.
20. The time you needed to get out of the house
You will now rot there. Alone. Forever.