5 Reasons Why No Woman Should Ever Say 'I'm Fine' Again

by Lauren Martin

"But, you're not fine...."

That's what you want to hear, right? You want someone to read your facial expressions, body cues and everything else besides the words coming out of your mouth. You want to be interpreted, rather than understood. Analyzed instead of respected.

But why? Why all the fuss? Why the run around? Why can't you just say how you feel the first time? Because that's not sexy. In fact, that's not attractive at all. That's, well... crazy.

Ah, the C-word, I think it's plausible to say that women find "crazy" as offensive and stinging as "c*nt" (the real C-word). There's just something so undesirable about being crazy.

The same way we know how burning it is to tell someone to chill out, we know how harsh it is to call her loca. It's this suggestion that you don't have it together, that you're not taken seriously, that you're irrational. Your argument, your reasonings and attitude are not valid.

But why? Why aren't your emotions valid? Since when did the feelings of women become social faux-pas?

Why is it preferable to be emotionless, with no real feeling about anything? Why is it such a turnoff to listen to someone say how she feels?

We've stigmatized the entire emotional process. We've labeled it to two words, as if somehow saying “I'm fine” means you don't have emotions. Or, your emotions aren't valid enough to express any other way.

By saying we're fine, we're giving men power. We're devaluing our feelings and our emotions because we think they're not important enough to express.

We are giving them a lie because we think that's what they want to hear. We're reducing our feelings to nothing but two tiny little words and telling them we're okay with that.

It's a problem that we think we have to bottle up our emotions and hide them under a façade. It's sad that we have to throw these two flimsy words over our entire emotional process.

It's sad that our thoughts have been reduced to the stinging and emotional trauma of "I'm fine."

It's time to remove the phrase from our diction and start learning how to express ourselves again. It's time to start saying how we really feel, because "I'm fine" is just a symptom that something else is wrong.

Women need to start “acting crazy” to get rid of crazy. We need to make “I'm fine” an unacceptable excuse for expressing our feelings.

Because it's okay to be upset about something

It's okay not to feel okay with something. It's fine not to be fine all the time. If people were happy-go-lucky all the time, we'd be worried about them. We'd be nervous they were invaders from “The Truman Show.”

Life isn't about one emotional state. It's an array of emotional processes that make us all so complex.

Life would be f*cking boring if everyone were "fine" all the goddamn time.

Because having emotions doesn't mean you're crazy

Emotional reactions are not symptoms of crazy people. They are symptoms of human people.

They are the manifestation of our heart and soul because everyone and everything in nature cries and feels pain.

You are not crazy because you have feelings; you are not wrong because you are upset. You are alive.

Because if it's not small to you, it shouldn't be small to someone else

If it's not unimportant to you, why are you letting it be nothing to someone else? This is person is part of your life and if something is making you upset, he has the right to know about it.

Someone who cares about you should't want to hear that you are fine all the time. That person should want to hear your sorrows and your woes.

That person should want to know what makes you upset, what makes you want to cover up your emotions.

Because you're just the delaying the inevitable

We all know that "I'm fine" is just the appetizer to the meltdown. No woman has ever uttered those words then completely dropped the problem.

Whether it be hours, days or weeks later, the truth eventually comes out and "I'm fine" just seems like an unnecessary layover.

Why not just say how you feel the first time? Whether you're waiting for that person to figure it out or you're going to tell him you're not fine later, skip the bullsh*t and get right down to the bare bones of the problem.

Because acting like you don't care isn't letting it go

If history has taught us anything, it's that the greatest actors in the world couldn't act their way to happiness.

Acting like you're not upset isn't going to make the problems go away, it's just going to push them deeper. Pretending like you don't care isn't being an adult, it's being a bad actor.

So learn to say how you feel, when you feel it, because we all know the greatest moments of cinematic history were many times improvisations.