25 Things Every Woman Needs To Break Up With Before She Turns 30

by Lauren Martin

Attachments are the root of all heartache -- and the average 20-something woman has more attachments than Miley Cyrus does daddy issues.

Throughout the years we've accumulated a messy array of attachments and are dragging them with us to our new jobs, apartments and grown-up lives.

It's these things that are weighing us down, creating too many bridges to our past and keeping us from maturing into the fabulous women we always saw for ourselves.

Part of growing up and maturing means shedding all those layers that no longer define you. It’s realizing that the relationships you’re in aren't helping you grow, but are, instead, holding you back.

It's realizing that attitude you have from years of being treated like a princess is only creating enemies and that wardrobe from Wet Seal no longer has a place in modern society.

Because even though those horrible attachments might not be giving us nasty UTIs, they're definitely something we need to break up with.

Like that morning you wake up and, in all clarity, can see your boyfriend for who he really is... It's realizing that his DJing career isn’t going anywhere and he’s actually just a douchebag who likes to grow mustaches and listen to Ellie Goulding when he wants to “feel cultured.”

Because, ladies, we’re better than these things.

We’re too old and too wise to be holding on to things like tequila shots and men with mommy issues. We've had our flings, relationships and one-night stands and it’s time to erase the call log.

It's time to stop buying cheap clothes and start expanding our grown-up wardrobe. It's time to build that small fire, collect all the stuff that's cluttering your already-too-small apartment and have a cleanse that doesn't involve overpriced juice.

1. The guy who only texts after 2 am

He's like "Step Up 2," no matter how many times you make excuses for it, it will never be good enough.

2. Snacking in bed

There will come a time when you bring a guy home who isn’t so blacked out that he won't notice the 1,000,000,000,000 crumbs in your bed.

3. Your cheap clothing splurges

A $6 skirt at Forever 21 isn’t a good find, it’s a piece of sh*t.

4. Tequila shots

They’re like that horrible boyfriend who never answered your calls. He just wanted to get you f*cked up and watch you sing “Born To Run” on a bar.

5. Stalking your exes

Just because you’re thinking about getting a bob doesn’t make you Nancy Drew.

6. Uggs

They’re like that guy you had your first kiss with before you became popular. You didn’t know what you were doing so you gave him a chance, but now that you’re older, you understand that the guys you should be kissing aren't the type to know the year of Cher’s second album release.

7. The use of the word "YOLO"

Even your middle school-aged sister has stopped using it.

8. Not texting back

You can’t just not answer people, it’s, like... rude.

9. Having five glasses of wine… every night

What are you going to do when you’re actually going through a mid-life crisis?

10. Acronyms

FOMO; YOLO; TTYL; LOLS... you look like an Italian car dealership.

11. Abbreviations

It’s totes not cool to abbrev everything that's not your fav word.

12. Your bitchy resting face

When you're older and no longer as hot, you just look like a less successful Anna Wintour.

13. That social media addiction

You're going to have some other addictions to worry about and filters shouldn't be one of them.

14. Your Tumblring habit

You can still Tumblr -- just not all day....

15. Your fear of your body

It's going to be there the rest of your life, why let it keep bothering you?

 16. Your princess attitude

Just because you're "daddy's little princess" doesn't mean anyone sees you as royalty. The sooner you get over that attitude, the sooner you'll start getting some respect.

17. That sweater you think you'll wear one day

If you're not wearing it now, haven't worn it in years and don't see it making a comeback in 2015, throw the damn thing out. Clearly, your body has an aversion to it.

18. That friend who never calls

You don't need to tell her you're letting her go, but mentally, it's time to stop harping on relationships that were dead around the same time of Aaron Carter's career. His comeback is as pathetic as you expecting her to call.

19. Your exes

You broke up for a reason; so if you were supposed to be dating them, you'd still be together. It's time to let them off the leash because they're starting to pee in the house.

20. What people think of you

It's the hardest thing to let go of, but the most worthwhile once you do. Once you stop giving into everyone's perception of who you are, you can finally figure it out for yourself -- and that's the first step to really growing up.

21. That job you didn't get

Instead of harping on it day after day, you should be working on getting a better job that will get you that sweet, sweet "I showed them" revenge moment.

 22. That apartment you don't want to go home to

There will come a time when you have to finally say goodbye to Craigslist and hello to broker fees. On the bright side, the chances of being shot or murdered are much slimmer.

23. Your parents' phone plan

Your parents can still see your call log. Just FYI...

24. That online shopping addition

Getting older means getting smarter and an online shopping cart with more than your savings isn't cute, it's just stupid.

25. Trying to have it all

Trying to have it all is like trying to find the perfect man. It's a waste of time. The sooner you accept that sacrifices must be made, the sooner you'll start to appreciate the parts of life you do have. Because in this life, no one has it all... except maybe Angelina Jolie.