I have been blessed with having many girlfriends that are chill and not dramatic. Those types of female friends can be difficult to find though, which is probably why I used to be the girl with mostly guy friends.
I have been a bit of a tomboy for most of my life, so it was easier for me to hang with the guys (who often referred to me as “a dude in a girl’s body”). Though other women often misunderstand the tomboy, the tomboy can enjoy some of the perks of being “one of the guys.” Here are some pros and cons to being the “guy’s girl”:
Pro: Avoiding Drama
Dudes don’t gossip. Dudes don’t tell you that you look pretty with bitchy undertones in their voices. Dudes don’t “forget” to invite you to group lunch because they were offended by something you said after one too many martinis. When you hang out with the dudes, you can pretty much avoid all cattiness and drama.
Con: “Are you a lesbian?”
Because I did not hang out with other females that often, they (and even some guys) questioned my sexuality. The people with whom you surround yourself do not determine your sexuality and, regardless, my sexual orientation isn’t your business anyway.
Pro: Wearing Whatever You Want
Oh, I wore these same clothes yesterday? Whatever, the guys will not notice and if they do, they couldn’t care less. When you are with the boys, you do not have to worry about looking cute or impressing them with your outfits. Hello sweatpants and baseball cap… EVERY day.
Con: No One With Whom To Share Clothes
An event comes up and you want to wear a cute dress without dropping a ton of money on a new one? You can’t ask one of the guys to look through his closet or borrow his new Michael Kors clutch.
Pro: Judgment-Free Zone
I once took shots of tequila until 3 am with the boys at their apartment until we all passed out. At 8 am, we woke up and went to a beer market, drank a few cold ones and ate moon pies for breakfast. Females usually looked down on this type of behavior (and that number of calories).
Con: Keeping It All Inside
The guys DO NOT talk about their feelings often. Forget telling them about your crush, your problems with your parents or how your sister really hurt your feelings when she borrowed your iPod without asking.
I love basketball and try to keep up with NCAA and NBA as often as I can. Many girls do not care whether or not there is a game that night — the guys will always watch it with me.
Con: Judgment From Other Women
“She probably doesn't even like football!” “I bet she has slept with them all!” “She just needs so much attention from guys.” *Eye roll* No, I actually hang out with the guys more because I just want to avoid talking about other women negatively… kind of like what you are doing now.
Pro: Having Big Brothers
I never had a big brother growing up, so if a boy broke my heart, I usually had to handle it on my own. If a guy is hurting me now, I know my guy friends will stand up for me. It is a nice feeling to know you have a few dudes there to protect you.
Con: Actually Hearing What Guys Think
I have heard stories of sexual exploits that have scarred me for life. “Oh, so you actually want us to do that in bed?” “My boob size does matter?” “Okay, that’s the last time I ever wear a bikini in public.”
Pro: Actually Hearing What Guys Think
Very rarely do guys break down that barrier and say what they truly think about a girl they like. It is nice to get that insight about for what men are looking in a future spouse. Also, hearing how they actually feel about a female — knowing that even they get butterflies — helps me to be aware to the fact that men are not completely devoid of feelings.
Photo via We Heart It