Before we begin, I’d like you to step into my lair a little bit. I promise I won’t get weird. Turn up a little “Samson” by Regina Spektor or “Skinny Love” by Birdy or whatever soft piano/acoustic/vocal mashup you got in your arsenal of slow songs for days like this when the sky is freeing snowballs and the world feels like one big fleece blanket.
It’s days like this when I’m trapped inside, indulging in my own fun (painting my nails while my hair soaks in a hair masque), that my mind wanders to what I’d be doing if I weren’t stuck home. I’m going to be honest, sometimes, when it’s nearing darkness and the evening hours seem to stretch on endlessly, I wish I had another person there to share in my thoughts of grandeur.
That’s how I came to the conclusion that above anything else -- looks, charm, humor, romance -- I want a man who will enliven me. Someone who’s going to push my boundaries, introduce me to places I’ve never heard of and embolden me to do the unimaginable because he genuinely believes I can. If he inspires me like that, then the rest will come naturally.
To be frank, it’s hard to come up with new sh*t on your own all the time. You need a partner-in-crime who won’t settle for the mundane, who lives for the thrill, especially when you're by his side. He’s the guy who won’t think twice about staying out late on a night of adventure even when there’s work in the morning. He’s the one who says “let’s do it” instead of “let’s see.”
Think about it: There’s a reason artists fall in love with their muses. They build you up and make you strive to be your best self.
Take Shakespeare (or even “Shakespeare In Love,” another favorite), for example. Practically his entire collection of love sonnets is inspired by someone else. His greatest work was rooted in his adoration and admiration for a mysterious lover. Falling in love with someone who excites you is ancient.
Look no further than the cult favorite “Vicky Cristina Barcelona,” even. Although a tempestuous relationship, there’s no denying that Maria Elena and Juan Antonio have that passionate spark. In the drama of it all, they always come back to each other.
Maybe it’s my inner hopeless romantic; maybe it’s the wintry cuddle season, but if I’m stuck inside dreaming all day, I want to be with someone whose dreams are wilder than mine.
Here’s why you should fall in love with someone who exhilarates you:
1. They introduce you to things you’ve never imagined
It’s a big, big world out there, filled with crazy stuff like The World at Dubai and beer-flavored jelly beans and so much more that we can’t discover it all on our own. Someone who inspires you brings a sense of awe into your life, even when it’s as small as showing you the secret spot for the best wings in the city.
2. They motivate you to do better
They will push you to be a better person without directly putting pressure on you. Your partner serves as the best incentive to transcend your limitations. When you’re ready to give up, it’s important to have a supporting person to get you back on track.
3. They are profoundly interesting
This is the person you can lie across the couch with, talking all day and never running out of things to say. They possess this otherworldly knowledge that’s enlightening and captivating at the same time. Who can resist a guy who can pontificate on European history just as easily as he can show you the sites?
4. They make you feel fulfilled
You won’t feel like you’re missing out on something or that anything greater can come along. Everything you need is right in front of you, which is really the beauty of falling in love with someone who inspires you. They make you realize that you have all the capabilities of finding self-satisfaction.
5. They make you dream bigger
When you connect with this person, their investment in you means that you will be motivated to constantly strive to go beyond what you think you are capable of. Being with this person makes you feel like you can do anything, escape to anywhere, conquer whatever you set out to do. It’s an unexplainable high every time.
6. They help you achieve your goals because they understand their importance to you
This person isn’t going to hold you back from anything. If you want to sign up for a new class or check out the latest live music, they won’t stop you for selfish reasons. They understand that your personal happiness is just as paramount as their own.
7. They bring excitement in your life
There’s no such thing as a boring activity in your relationship -- even if you’re spending the night in, staying up watching a psychological thriller, or playing tease card games. This person is inherently intriguing, which makes it easy to get lost in your days together.
8. They challenge you
This person won’t “yes” you when you ask them for an honest opinion. Take it as a sign that you hold significance in their lives when they don’t let you get away with mediocrity. This is someone who cares about you enough to tell you the hard truths that you can’t tell yourself.
9. They make you realize how amazing you truly are
All this time you think this person is flawless because they are a role model in your life, but in reality, it’s what you also bring to the table that makes this other person shine. They help you remember that you make a great team; it’s not a one-sided relationship.
And if you are lucky enough to find this person who so positively builds your confidence and sense of self, then you are quite an inspiration to me.
Photo credit: Asha Efia Maura