Team Bed: 55 Ways You Know You're Absolutely Over Going Out

by Ashley Fern

Deciding whether you want to go out or not is probably one of the most common debates of this generation.

We slave away in our cubicles all week long so when free time comes into play, we really just don't know what to do.

Do we celebrate our freedom with yet another night of poor decision-making or do we stay in and get a solid night's sleep, something we've been severely missing out on?

As you get (Gasp!) older, the desire to go out is declining faster than the temperature during a New York City winter.

Our priorities have shifted, and engaging in another night of binge drinking seems less appealing than ever.

So how do you know you're officially over going out?

1. Whatever you're "supposed" to have FOMO about, you actively avoid.

2. Your bed is definitely better than any club.

3. You dread out-of-town visitors.

4. You've developed a weird connection with your apartment.

5. You realize it's not where you go, but whom you're with that makes the night fun.

6. You've finally learned to love yourself enough that you don't need the company of other people.

7. Budgeting is no longer a foreign concept to you.

8. No amazing night out will triumph a night with Netflix.

9. Nothing is worth the hangover anymore.

10. Because you prefer your calories full rather than empty.

11. There's never a line for the bathroom in your own apartment.

12. You don't have to check your coat in your bedroom.

13. You have someone you're hooking up with, so really what's the point?

14. You already took your bra and pants off.

15. Your liver thinks you're a dick.

16. Because you don't feel like showering...

17. Or shaving...

18. Or washing your hair...

19. Or putting on makeup...

20. Or getting a manicure.

21. It's getting harder and harder to laugh off embarrassing evenings.

22. You're still waiting to "see how you feel" after dinner.

23. You already have enough Instagrams from last night to last you the entire week.

24. There is no hangover from weed.

25. Because blackout eating isn't as fun as it used to be.

26. You'd rather not sleep through another Seamless delivery.

27. You actually have things you need to get done tomorrow.

28. You start to realize your parents may be right about your alcoholism.

29. You realize you have nothing to talk about when meeting new people, as the only thing on your mind is how great it would be to jump back into bed.

30. Actually, you realize you just hate people.

31. You don't feel like being hit on by drunk sloppy men whom you clearly have no interest in.

32. You can't stand to watch another girl attempt to twerk in front of guys to get attention.

33. The music is way too loud, which is just another sign you're getting old.

34. You're sick of listening to the same old song just remixed over and over again.

35. You would rather not buy drinks and spend your money on snacks... or new sheets instead.

36. If you get spilled on one more time by some drunk girls making their way to the bathroom, you'll punch someone in the face.

37. Getting the unexpected, unwanted booty grab by a random guy makes you wish you had brought your pepper spray out with you.

38. Your makeup is too valuable to waste on yet another regretful night out.

39. You don't have to worry about where you left your jacket/purse/left shoe/dignity.

40. If you stay in, you don't wake up questioning what bed you woke up in and you don't have to spend the day piecing together your night with embarrassing pictures that were uploaded to Facebook and Instagram.

41. You realize the less you drink, the better your body looks...

42. And your hair...

43. And your decisions...

44. And your skin...

45. And your life...

46. You avoid sending embarrassing drunk texts or, even worse, drunk voicemails.

47. You don't wake up with a POUNDING headache, throwing up for hours, wasting the entire day in bed, wondering why you keep making the decision to go out every time...*hint* the exact definition of insanity.

48. Guess what? You wake up looking like a normal person and not someone who just got beat up and/or assaulted.

49. You genuinely just don't care what people are up to.

50. You realize how much more work you could get done if you do some on the weekend.

51. Your immune system is completely shot.

52. Your priorities have shifted from getting sh*tfaced to staying healthy.

53. Staying in with Seamless and "Law And Order: SVU" sounds like the only company you need.

54. Forced conversations no longer appeal to you.

55. Wait, did they ever? It's about time you realized it.