Having curly hair is truly a gift... according to the people who don't actually have it. Dealing with curls is no easy task, and one most of us have to battle with on a constant basis.
The amount we must spend on products is enough to drive us to the streets, the time we spend managing our frizz is enough to drive any person insane and the anxiety we feel at hair appointments is enough to cause anyone to hit up a shrink.
The struggle is real, and today I am going to break it down for you:
1. The biggest lie you have ever heard is "I'm sure it looks great curly."
How would you even know? You've never even seen it. Jerk.
2. No one (not even you sometimes) can wrap their heads around how much you spend on hair products
Maybe that's why you can't afford groceries for yet another week.
3. You would rather stay in than go out when it rains
If you can't look your best, why even bother going out at all?
4. Your awkward stage was definitely much worse than someone else who didn't have curly hair
5. You don't even remember what it's like to dunk your head in a body of water
Your Keratin will get ruined and/or you will just emerge with an afro — either way, you lose.
6. The biggest let down in life was realizing your sex hair isn't what it looks like in the movies
In fact, it more so resembles the hair in a horror movie.
7. It's a battle of you versus the curls... you never win
And you have the burn marks on your neck to prove it.
8. No boyfriend will ever understand your struggle
It doesn't matter how much you complain, you will always seem high maintenance.
9. You spend ample time internally debating if exercising is worth the hair wash
Hint: It's not.
10. You aren't even sure what your natural hair looks like anymore
And you're not sure whether that's a good or bad thing.
11. The day you discovered Keratin, your life was changed forever
And you have been searching and hunting Groupon deals ever since.
12. You have, on more than one occasion, attempted to make your blow out last an entire week
Who hasn't attempted this?
13. Humidity is your worst enemy
You fear this more than that dreaded time of the month... or lack thereof.
14. You don't know where you would be in life without your straightener
Too bad you can't remember if you've turned it off or not.
15. Going to bed with your hair wet is never a good idea
You try to keep your hair healthy by not blow drying it as much, but you regret this decision every single time when morning rolls around.
16. Cuddling always ends with him eating your hair
It doesn't matter if you put it in a ponytail, your hair will somehow find a way to end up in his mouth. This can get pretty awkward during and after sex.
17. You absolutely cannot stand when people try and play with your hair
I'm not sure how this "tradition" started, but it needs to end immediately.
18. Short hair is never an option for you
Honestly, why would you even want to do this?
19. You have broken countless brushes in your lifetime
Is there a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records for this?
20. You would rather go to the dentist than get a haircut
That is not even an exaggeration.
21. You always need to have a hair tie on your wrist
...And one in your purse, just in case.
22. Oh, the influx of backhanded compliments
"Your hair looks so good when you straighten it..."
23. You are never honest with people about how often you wash your hair
If they knew, they would probably never speak to you again... or sit next to you.
24. Your life changed the day you realized you should braid your hair while you exercise
If you don't know, now you know...
25. You do not "part" your hair, it just... is
When the hairdresser asks you this question, you don't even know how to begin to respond. It's however you wake up honestly...
26. You always check your bag when you fly because 8 oz of conditioner will last you half of one hair wash
It's always worth the ~$25 fee.
27, If you didn’t have to “do” your hair, it would take you 15 minutes to get ready for any occasion
Unfortunately for you, it takes upwards of an hour.
28. You must allot a space in your budget for hair products
You know when it comes down to food or hair products, you'll choose your hair every damn time.
29. Your shampoo and conditioner never run out at the same time
Because that would make life so much more manageable, wouldn't it?
30. You shed more than an animal
You never understood why your parents wouldn't let you get a dog growing up... until you moved out on your own and realized your hair covers 90 percent of all surfaces.