(Wo)Man The F*ck Up: Stop Relying On Others For Confidence


Our generation of women is constantly fishing for positive feedback to improve our self-esteem. We need the constant reassurance of positive attention from others in order to feel confident in ourselves.

The problem with relying on others for confidence is that people aren’t always going to approve of you or encourage you. Sometimes people will try to bring you down. Furthermore, people don’t care enough to always motivate you. The test of self-worth is being able to shake off the haters and be confident on your own. If you can’t do that, then you will be brought down easily.

To avoid relying on others for confidence, you need to stop trying to impress them. When you get dressed in the morning, don’t consider what other people will think of your outfit. Do you think you look good? That’s all that matters. Trends are a trap that insecure people fall into. Don’t crash diet so that you can impress other people on vacation next week with a “bikini body;” Eat healthy because you want to feel good for your own well-being.

As if it wasn't bad enough, Social Media has established an entirely new platform for us to seek approval from others. Women upload an endless amount of pictures of themselves, praying for “likes” to let them know that people “like” them. If a picture doesn’t get enough likes on Facebook, their self-esteem suffers.

Women are under the impression that a picture on Facebook or a selfie on Instagram will change people’s perception of them. The truth is that people are too consumed with their own image on social media to worry about yours that much. The same rule applies to life in general.

We’ve become so worried about gaining the approval of others that we forget those people are searching for approval from us as well. Once you realize this, you will set yourself free from the trap of relying on others for your self-esteem and learn to be confident regardless of what other people think.

The other day, my friend and I were talking and she told me something she loved about herself. It was strange and refreshing to hear her say that. Women are always putting themselves down and relying on others to lift them up. Rather than waiting for others to compliment you, compliment yourself. Remind yourself what you like about yourself, what your best traits are. When you stop relying on others for your confidence is when you become truly confident, and confidence is a virtue that will take you far in life.

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