For Better Or For Worse?: 8 Things I Never Want My Husband To See Me Doing
Marriage: I love the sound of it. I love wedding dresses and how the decorations top off the most classic of weddings. I can’t wait to get married -- but then again, I can, because I love being alone.
There are so many uncertainties running through a 20-something female’s mind, like what to wear on Friday night, or wishing payday were every single day. If there's one thing I know for certain, though, it's that we are all planning our wedding, whether we think we are or not.
I’m pretty sure that in order to get married, you need to find a significant other. I know there will be a time when I actually meet a mature man who sweeps me off my feet, but let’s be serious, there are so many basic bros out there, it’s nearly impossible.
Even though I have my entire wedding planned, from bridesmaids to color scheme, I know I won’t have cold feet when I meet the right guy. What I am scared of is what happens after we move in together because, well, we all know there’s no such thing as perfect. Here are eight things I hope my husband never sees me doing:
Supposedly, shaving is a must when you are dating someone/married. Have guys seen the way a girl shaves? No, and there’s a reason for that. She turns into an ugly acrobat in the shower and makes the weirdest, most concentrated faces.
Usually I wind up pissed off because I often cut myself, and then comes the blood running down my legs. It’s better that men just see our legs in post-shave form just like in those shaving commercials (except I'd still have nicks and stubble).
Men are going to see us women PMSing way before we hit the alter, but that doesn't mean we want them to. I hope that when I meet the right guy, I never let my emotions take over my relationship during that week of agony and pain.
One second you’re in love and the next, you're crying your eyeballs out because you think he doesn’t love you. Not to mention, a woman in her menstrual cycle tends to break out. What a mess.
Guys, when this happens, everything you want to say is the wrong thing to say.
3. Emotional eating
I don’t know about you, but I love to eat. It’s so fun shoving a pizza down my throat while downing a chocolate shake to make myself feel better.
It’s also the only thing that will make me smile during stressful times. Do our husbands really need to see that? But if he eats pizza and drinks chocolate milkshakes with us, then I suppose he’s a winner. Where are you, Prince Charming?
4. Changing a tampon/pad
Self explanatory. Ugh.
5. Drinking with the girls
This will happen after you get married, just not as often. It’s not that I don’t want him to drink with me. By all means, babe, my arms are open. I just know what happens on a girls' night of drinking.
There is a big difference when the girls are drinking without the guys around. No filters are used, a lot of food/alcohol is consumed and there may even be crying. Also, the longer the girls go without seeing each other, the crazier the shenanigans. It’s a rule. Let’s hope he thinks that's cute…
6. When I am in a rush
When I am rushing, I sweat. I also get cranky and flustered. I tend to then begin hating my life. If “hell” were described for a man, this would be it. Need I say more?
7. Using the toilet
This includes peeing and pooping. Sorry guys, but girls do it, too. I never want my husband to see me or hear me use the bathroom.
We all know what that entails. I don’t want to become that couple who thinks it’s cute to sh*t and piss in the same bathroom while the other is showering or putting makeup on. Honestly, it’s downhill from there.
8. My weekly at-home spa regimen.
From face masks to blackhead pore strips to body exfoliating, there are things I sincerely love doing alone. I can feel my ugliest, yet my most refreshed at the same time.
I don’t need a guy asking me what’s wrong with my nose or why the cream on my face is puke green. I would rather my husband see me post-body maintenance because it will attract him even more.
Plus, if he asks if I’ve been doing anything to make my skin look prettier, I can easily say “no” and make him believe I am a goddess in no need of expensive beauty products. What you don’t know won’t hurt you…
You see, women are so used to being alone and doing things our own way that we often don't think about about what it will be like having a significant other around all the time. Believe it or not, guys will always be immature and sensitive to certain female habits.
Just because you're married doesn’t mean you can let it all hang loose. Being comfortable with your partner is a beautiful thing, but some things are better left to do alone… Just the way I like it.