Save Room For The Holy Ghost: 12 Signs You're A Catholic School Girl

by Margaret O'Brien

Do you have flashbacks when you pass by knee-highs in a department store? Do you hum church hymns in the shower? Do you dream in plaid?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you may be a former Catholic school girl.

Now, there are certainly things with which every girl struggles: panty lines, shirts fitting everywhere except across your boobs, monthly cramps from hell, etc. But, there are certain other things only a Catholic school girl understands.

Here are 12 signs you’re one of them:

1. Your nails are always perfectly manicured

The no-nail-polish rule was easily one you hated most, so now, you overcompensate. Freshly-painted nails every week should make up for the years of your polish prohibition.

2. You were a slutty school girl for Halloween at least once in college

Your old uniform has to be good for something, right? You’re older now and the skirt is shorter — maybe it even fits a little tighter. Whatever, you’re just being resourceful.

3. You appreciate tights and the powers they possess

While most women dread the thought of putting on hosiery, you enjoy it. Tights are magical. You know this because you had to wear them for so many years.

They hold everything together and keep you in one place. Really, they’re like super thin leggings.

4. Choosing a different outfit to wear every day still stresses you out

How long has it been since you wore a uniform? Yet, there you are, standing in front of your closet on the verge of a mental breakdown.

You didn’t love your uniform by any means, but at least it was easy. A new outfit every single day seems a bit much.

5. There were three words you always wanted to hear: dress down day

You loved the convenience of a uniform, but the sweaters were still itchy and the skirts were just ugly.

Being able to wear a sweatshirt and jeans every now and again was a godsend. (Pun completely intended.)

6. Growing up, public schools were some sort of mythical fantasy land

...So were the public school kids. Did they really exist? You couldn’t believe there were any other types of school. Didn’t everyone have religion class? No? Weird…

7. You were willing to do whatever it took to play the Virgin Mary in your school’s reenactment of the Nativity scene

It was every girl’s dream to be Mary. No one wanted to get stuck playing a lame angel or farm animal.

You wanted to be front and center, next to Joseph and the creepy baby doll that stood in for Jesus.

8. At least one of your teachers was a nun

She may have been an old-school, habit-wearing nun; others may have worn regular clothing. Either way, she was hardcore, and you both feared and respected her.

9. You make jokes using biblical references and no one laughs

You thought your joke about wishing you could turn the water in the water cooler at work into wine would for sure be a crowd-pleaser, but apparently not.

10. You can’t believe how much time you spent picking a confirmation name

While other girls stressed out about which dresses they wanted to wear to the school dance, you lost sleep over deciding between the names Mary, Elizabeth and Rose.

11. You fought with girls in your class over who would get the prettiest rosary

Every other girl wanted the pink one, so you had to cut in line when your teacher handed them out if you even wanted a chance to get it. You just had to.

12. You still don’t dance too closely to men… just in case

Because any time you do get too close, you hear your old teacher’s voice in your head screaming, “Leave room for the Holy Spirit!”

If you relate to any of these, your fellow ex-Catholic school girls salute you because they understand. God bless.