New Year’s Eve is fast-approaching and, for once, I actually have plans.
For the past six years, my New Year’s Eve itinerary involved nothing more than cuddling with a boyfriend on a couch somewhere, watching Ryan Seacrest ring in the New Year from Times Square.
Last year was my first real single girl New Year’s Eve.
I went on an impromptu OkCupid date because, you know, neither of us had any plans.
Admittedly, it wasn't a terrible night, seeing as the fries we got at Pommes Frites made up for our lack of connection.
This year, however, I’m doing my single self right and going to a party thrown by friends.
Looks like this year just might be the year I don’t get a kiss from my cat or asshole ex-boyfriend.
As a single girl, there are rules you have to follow every New Year’s Eve.
For one, you absolutely cannot go on a random date with a complete stranger, like I did.
Before you get your party hat on and start chugging champagne by the gallon, keep the following commandments in mind.
1. Thou shalt not drink anything other than champagne.
Use New Year’s Eve as an opportunity to have as much bubbly as possible with zero regrets.
You have 364 other days to pop open the wine.
2. Thou shalt not make your ex your New Year’s kiss.
It doesn’t matter who you kiss at midnight, as long as it wasn’t the loser who made your life hell this past year.
This is the time to look forward. Specifically, at the cute bartender who just got you another round.
3. Thou shalt not turn down an invite to party with your friends.
Seriously, you have all year to be a homebody and cuddle with your cats.
Shave your f*cking legs, throw on a party outfit and go to that bulls*t thing your friends are all going to.
Even if it sucks, you’ll be drunk enough not to care.
4. Thou shalt not get trashed.
Get drunk, sure. Crunk even.
Vomiting in some stranger’s bathroom at 11:30? It’ll probably f*ck up your host’s night just as much as it will yours.
Pop bottles. Just keep it classy-ish.
5. Thou shalt not third wheel.
It doesn’t matter if you’re the only single girl in your friend group.
New Year’s Eve is the perfect opportunity to hook up with your cute coworker with zero questions asked.
Take the opportunity and run with it, girl!
6. Thou shalt not wear red lipstick.
Red lipstick is only festive on Christmas.
With all the champagne you’ll be chugging, your pout will look a mess come midnight.
Go with a pretty “my lips but better” color that won’t look as noticeable if it starts to wear off.
Plus, you don’t want to look like a vampire come Instagram time.
7. Thou shalt not cry about sh*t that happened last year.
The beauty of New Year’s Eve is it’s the one time a year everyone is truly in the same optimistic state of mind.
Focus on what’s ahead, not what’s behind.