He's Not The One: 17 Reasons You Need To Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass

by Ashley Fern

Relationships — can't live with them, can't live without them. It's true, sadly, but it doesn't mean you should settle for the first person who comes your way. Having someone else by your side is great, but not if it causes you constant stress and aggravation.

I mean, why would you want someone like this around? You wouldn't, but you think something -- someone -- is better than nothing. And it's a terrible mindset because it'll only upset you in the long run.

You know what sounds better than being angry at someone all the time? Having a good time by yourself, with your friends and people who make you happy to be alive.

When you keep a detrimental person around, all you're doing is wasting your time and limiting your chances of finding someone who really makes you happy.

Maybe you don't know, or maybe you're too busy rationalizing your bad decisions to realize what's happening, so hopefully these following signs open your eyes.

1. You've sat at home on a Friday night with a full face of makeup only to be stood up too many times.

If this has happened to you before, what's to say it won't happen again? Go out and live your life and stop waiting around for some guy to make plans for you.

Go make plans for yourself and if he so happens to fit in them, great, but if not, screw him -- NOT LITERALLY.

2. You've spent more than 20 minutes debating how to phrase a text message.

You clearly aren't fully comfortable with this person, or yourself, because if you were, you'd just say what you wanted without worrying about repercussions.

It's normal to say the wrong thing, but it's absolutely ridiculous to overanalyze every message you send.

3. You're triple-texting three days apart.

If you're the one starting and ending all of the conversations, you need to wake up and smell the non-existent roses he's not buying you.

4. Everyone makes time for the priorities in life.

If you really wanted to do something, wouldn't you rearrange your schedule to do it?

People prioritize and make time for things important to them, end of story.

5. If you act "fine" with a casual sexual relationship, why would he want anything more?

The longer you let him think this is OK, the harder it'll be to change his mind. Things are clearly working out to his benefit, so why would he want to add any extra stress to his life?

6. He makes plans with no specified date and it's always you following up.

He's not stupid; he's half giving-you-what-you-want so you stick around and give him what he wants. If he actually intended on following through with these plans, he'd let you know.

And if he really wanted to make plans, they'd come with a day and time attached.

7. You always find yourself making excuses for his behavior.

Maybe you're not the problem and he is. Of course, you'd never think that because you're so blinded by what you want to happen and you're not really seeing what is happening.

Stop fantasizing and realize the situation you're currently in is the complete opposite of what you actually want.

8. You're well aware he's still on Tinder.

Why is he on Tinder? And why is this OK with you...?

9. If he doesn't want to lock it down now, why would he in the future?

OK, so you had the talk and his answer wasn't what you wanted.

Why are you still sticking around? Don't settle because you think this is the best you can get. Newsflash: There are a sh*t ton of people out there who'll actually make you happy and not miserable.

10. The way he's talking to your friend isn't friendly banter, he's hitting on her.

He knows and she knows it — the only person who doesn't is you.

11. If he's talking to you about other girls, he's probably sleeping with them too.

Everyone has friends of the opposite sex, but you know there's a line not meant to be crossed. If he's talking about getting drunk with other girls, taking them on dates or even having sleepovers, well, I hope you know what he's up to.

12. If he's the one pushing for a condom, you've got problems.

Sure, maybe he just likes being safe, but there's a far greater chance he's sleeping around and doesn't want to risk infecting you or himself.

13. You're always the one reaching out during "normal" hours.

If he wanted to talk to you, he would. If you were on his mind, he'd let you know. If he wanted to hang out with you, he'd make an effort.

14. None of your friends support you.

Your friends have your best interest at heart, which is why their opinions are so valuable.

They just want to see you happy and their objective opinion can be quite helpful when your vision has become clouded.

15. The only time you hang out is at 2 am.

"Aww, that means he wants to wake up next to me..."

Quit dreaming; all it means is he wants to spend his night doing whatever the f*ck he wants with his friends and still have guaranteed sex when it's time to come home. Oh, wait, and in the morning, too...

16. He can't be bothered with any personal details.

If he isn't asking you any details about your day or your life, he doesn't care. It's as simple as that.

If he wanted to get to know you better, he would.

17. Getting no message is also a message.

This is perhaps the biggest message of them all. If he isn't reaching out or trying to talk to you, HE JUST ISN'T THAT INTO YOU.