No Boys Allowed: Why We Should Quit Talking About Guys With Girlfriends

by Emily Arata

When the Weather Girls dropped their single “It’s Raining Men” in 1983, the statement rang true. For a twenty-something, there’s nothing but an open vista of single dudes waiting to line up and take you out to dinner.

But while men seem to be falling from the sky, we can’t say the same for real girlfriends.

Your all-female friend group may be made up of office coworkers who stick by you on the 9-to-5 slog. Or, perhaps they're longtime besties who remember exactly how embarrassing you looked with braces. Regardless of where you met, they’re your go-to for conversation and advice.

In a post-“Sex And The City” world, one cliché lives on: When you’re single, your girlfriends are all you have. They’re sisters, mothers and surrogate significant others to you.

If you’ve noticed a common theme here, you’re catching on to the power of girl-on-girl love. No matter who you’re dating or how serious it turns out to be, your best girlfriends are there. You’re guaranteed a response to an S.O.S. text message in five minutes flat, and that’s something to appreciate.

Earlier this year, “Girls” star Zosia Mamet put together a piece for Glamour about her decision to stop airing her relationship dirty laundry to friends.

We’d argue that it’s time to start appreciating the ladies in our lives and the time we have with them. That’s why we’re advocating ditching the guy talk when we’re out with the girls.

Dates aren’t hard to schedule, but rounding up the girls can be.

With work, gym time and family to consider, rounding up even a friend group of three can become a trial that requires weeks of planning.

Treat girls’ night out as a holiday, reserving that special day for those you love best. That doesn’t include a last minute invitation for the dude you met on Bumble the week before.

The friends that talk together, stay together.

Even though you see one another regularly, it’s amazing how quickly everyone’s lives change. Whether there’s a new job announcement or engagement in the future, this is your time to sync up with your ladies.

Save happy hour for the most significant changes in your life because that time passes swiftly. One or two dates doesn’t necessarily make a guy worth wasting time discussing.

Texting is the only thing that kills conversation.

Nothing ruins the mood mid-heartfelt talk quite like the buzz of a phone receiving a text message. If you really care about your girlfriends, stash the cell. We know you look good, but selfies can wait for an hour or two.

This is about the women who support you, not the men trying to hit you up.

As Destiny's Child put it: Ladies, leave your man at home.

There's nothing more annoying than the friend who can't stop flirting, no matter where she is. You all agreed to a girls' night on the town, but she's at the bar making goo-goo eyes at the Irish bartender. The chances are good, though, that you're just as guilty.

Bringing the daily details of your relationship to cocktails is like emotionally transporting your man out for the night. It's as much of a crime as any in-person flirtation. Instead of treating everyone to a three-hour-long rundown of your romantic weekend in the Hamptons together, focus on your most interesting solo experiences.

Love is a battlefield, so don’t bring it into your safe space.

Spending time with a group of sister-like friends can be nearly as cathartic as a trip to see your shrink. Surrounded by women that are guaranteed to avoid needlessly judging you, you’ve got the space to express what you’ve been feeling lately.

Dating gets us all down occasionally, so that’s nothing new to the friends who are in the same spot. Instead of commiserating, refocus on the positive aspects of your life.

If you’ve got a problem, know where to address it.

Sometimes, the minor struggles of being a modern girl in the dating scene become a little too much for us to handle. We’re tempted to dump the latest fight with a boyfriend onto our best friends, but it’s worth rethinking the way we approach the problem.

If a conflict has gotten so complicated you need to rant about it, perhaps you’re talking to the wrong people. Wait until dinner ends, then dial your boyfriend.

Get to know your ladies in a new way.

Even if you've been friends since you had baby teeth, chances are you're still learning details about your besties' lives. Instead of wasting time together talking about your dating app escapades, use those moments to explore a new side of the women in your life.

Have you ever discussed politics? What about classical art? Now is your time to get introduced to your girls all over again.