Everything I Want To Say To Women Who Don't Want Children


It's OK to be a woman and not want children.

Just because I don't want to have kids of my own, doesn't mean I hate children, it doesn't mean I'm not maternal and it doesn't mean I'm selfish. I actually love children, am very maternal and only a little selfish.

Every time I find myself having this conversation with someone I end up regretting it. This brings me to my big question: why should I feel guilty or be looked down upon because of a choice that affects only myself? The answer: I shouldn't.

It's 2016, we're finally getting our heads out of our asses and accepting things like same-sex marriage, transgender and the fact that women are just as kick ass, and bad ass (if not more), as men. We have come such a far way, yet in major aspects we still seem to be living in the past.

Who says that women can't live a life full of happiness, success within our careers and love unless we have a family to complete us?

I work hard on a daily basis to become the strong, independent and successful woman that I strive to be. I work 60-hour weeks, barely sleep and spend my days off figuring out the next move for myself. I make sure that I have plenty of lazy days curled up with cheap wine and Netflix binges. I cherish those days.

I also cherish the days where I decide to take spontaneous trips to the beach, or days I go shopping and drop 300 dollars on one pair of boots.

This year alone I traveled to Spain and Thailand; I had the experience of a lifetime and I fully intend on making a habit out of it. These are the things I don't feel like I should give up to have children. I understand that you can have it all, but unless you're born into the Kardashians the odds are, unfortunately, against you.

I come from a large, and freakishly close, Italian family. We drive each other insane but we always have the very best intentions. I have an amazing group of friends who have become like family, and sometimes drive me equally crazy. If I choose not to have children, I won't automatically be the old cat lady who doesn't leave her house.

I'll be the cool aunt who brings her nieces and nephews souvenirs from her latest trip abroad, I'll be the godmother that her godchild runs to when they feel like they need to run away and I could very well be someone's loving wife.

If I choose not to have children I will still have a family, a life and a purpose.

To the women who plan on having a traditional family -- good for you. Everyone should be able to make the choice that feeds their happiness. To the women who don't plan on that, or are even unsure, stand your ground and stand for what you believe in. Don't ever let anyone try to persuade you into something that you know in your gut isn't for you.

Children are messy, expensive, selfish, beautiful and perfect little gifts. Whether you have your own, or vicariously live through others', the choice is yours to make. We need to accept that there's nothing wrong with choosing not to have children of our own.