Blame it all on Kylie Jenner: the proliferation of rayon bodysuits currently overtaking every store, the idea that turquoise clip-in extensions could be flattering and the fact that we're all sheeple when it comes to beauty trends.
Although it's comforting to think you're some kind of cosmetic unicorn when shopping at Sephora, you're probably drawn to the trends that are inescapable on Instagram. Strong brows (my co-worker likes to call them “fleek-y”), overdrawn lips — you name it, the baby Jenner started it and you spent hard-earned money trying to purchase it.
This isn't just anecdotal evidence I'm trying to sell you on, either. The data is in, courtesy of style community Polyvore, which ran the numbers on the most popular lipstick shades by state.
Seriously, 74 percent of the country literally picks “skin color” as the shade they'd most like to paint on their faces, raising Polyvore searches for the color by more than 400 percent in the last year. When women did get a little bold, they opted for light pink or pink shimmer, with the occasional dip into rose.
Let's call it the “Kylie effect,” seeing as Polyvore noted a 357 percent increase in demand for nude shades after the teen's Exposed shade hit the market on May 13.
To paraphrase the words of my spirit animal Sally Field in “Steel Magnolias,"
That [map] looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol.
The only exception is North Dakota, which oddly prefers black to all other lipstick colors. I can only assume there's a small but extremely impassioned group of goths working on a farm during the day and attaining Sephora VIB Rouge status by night.
In honor of National Lipstick Day, July 29, please accept my humble nominations for best nude and pink on the market. If natural is the name of your game, you can't go wrong with Glossier's matte Generation G in Cake. For a soft pink that says "I woke up like this. Just kidding," try out Urban Decay's Vice lipstick in Brat.
Next year, let's try to spice it up a little. I'm coming for you, Kylie.