This generation has cultivated a more fearsome breed of females. We’re uninhibited and unafraid to ask for what we want. We’re the alpha females — career-focused, goal-oriented and unstoppable in all aspects of life.
With these identities, we also wear the pants and have control in our relationships, or jobs and our destinies. Also, many of us are attracted to a more subtle kind of male. We seek out partners who support us, not compete with us. Partners who will offer us advice, but never try to tell us what we can or cannot do.
This man is Type B, the beta male. He is the proverbial “wind beneath the wings” of us Type A females. He is the stoic to our frenzy, the slow and steady to our wild and free. He is calm, collected and easygoing.
A relationship between two Type A people can be hot and heavy; it can be intense and fiery with unbridled passion. But eventually, two Type A personalities collide, like when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force.
They destroy each other, burning up their love in cataclysmic incineration. While they're a ton of fun for an affair, these kinds of relationships aren’t realistic in the long run.
The Type B makes a better match for the alpha Millennial female. He stands by her side, ready to be her rock if she needs something on which to lean, ready to be her foundation when she fears she might fall. These guys make amazing boyfriends.
In previous generations, male/female relationship dynamics were sometimes different. The male was seen as the strong superior to the female's passive submissiveness.
Now that we, charismatic ladies, are independent forces with which to be reckoned, our boyfriends are our second-in-commands. We need to figure out how the different facets of our partnership can work together to create a systematic harmony over all dimensions.
The alpha female is sexually adventurous, where the Type B male is more conservative. And, it can be a bit intimidating to ask our solid and secure men to fulfill certain desires or fantasies we alphas may have tingling within us.
When we’re used to the stale role of the alpha male (the one who is theoretically supposed to take control), it can be confusing to shift and become the dominant authority.
The point is we need to ask the questions if we want to get anywhere. We ladies need to let go of apprehension and have the confidence in the bedroom that we exhibit in everyday life.
Here is how to get your Type B boyfriend to be more sexually adventurous, as an alpha Millennial female:
Approach things slowly and with caution
Your boyfriend is most likely pretty open to trying new things, and he clearly wants to make you happy. Think of a few relatively non-threatening sexual forays to explore.
What To Say: “Have you ever tried light choking? Because I think it could be fun.” Or, “I like to be controlled sometimes.”
He is thinking the same things; he just needs you to give him the green light. Nothing makes a Type B male shy away faster from his alpha girlfriend than thinking he’s crossed the line or taken away her precious agency.
Let him think whatever you’re trying was both of yours equally, if not entirely his idea
You want him to feel comfortable with taking some control in the bedroom and you relinquishing to some of his fantasies, even if they were your idea in the first place. Guide him with your hands and let him take the lead.
What To Say: “I really liked it when you (insert something you liked).”
Once you establish that something he did was something you enjoyed, he won’t be afraid to give it a second try.
Introduce the new, more unconventional things you’d like to try, vocally before physically
When it comes to the more intense acts (like restraints), talk about it beforehand. You don’t want to throw him off by suddenly whipping out a pair of handcuffs and expecting to dive in headfirst. Flying by the seat of your pants is your mantra, not his.
What To Say: “What is a sexual fantasy you’ve always wanted to try, but never have?” Or, “Is there something you’ve always wanted me to do that I haven’t done before?”
By making it verbal, you’ve neutralized the situation and, therefore, made it easier for him to digest and ultimately, really consider. The Type B male is very contemplative. He prefers to have things presented to him in a logical manner rather than to be taken by surprise.
Go ahead and ask for what you want directly
Once you’ve established a clear and comfortable sex life, and he is comfortable taking control, you’ll be able to be as direct as you’re used to being everywhere else.
What To Say: Anything you damn well feel like.
The Type B male isn’t some asexual, vanilla man. He’s just reserved and a bit taciturn. He probably still has that wild sex beast in him; he just needs you to lead the way.
Millennials are sexually open; we’re explorative and adventurous. The Gen-Y female just has to bring her Gen-Y male into her sexual awakening so they can experience all of this insatiability and curiosity together.