Guys are hunters; this will never change. The reality of this dates all the way back to the caveman days when men took what they wanted and weren’t afraid to fight for it, either. This is especially true when it comes to women.
No matter the circumstances, if attracted to a girl, a man will do whatever it takes and play all the games necessary to win her over and keep her.
So, if guys are not putting forward this type of effort, does it correlate to a lack of interest? What do you do then? Stick around, hoping for more? Or, do you get the hell out of Dodge? How can you be sure of your next move if you don’t know where you stand with someone?
I’ve been the dirty mistress, the sidepiece and the manipulated secret. I used to believe these were my only options if I wanted to be with my special someone, but in all actuality, I was the second choice — the backup convenience.
All the signs were there, but easily overlooked and pushed aside. I was blinded by the fantasy, forgetting where I stood in reality. Needless to say, I was a clueless idiot.
If I would have just taken a step back and looked at it from an outsider’s point-of-view, I would have seen it wasn’t right and walked away… or at least, I would have tried.
The excuses were all the same: “I’m not big on PDA,” and “I don’t like people knowing my business.” The best one was, “It’s not a good time to leave her; she has a lot going on and I don’t want to make it worse.” Looking back on all of this has made me realize just how stupid I was to believe all the bullsh*t.
Now, before I continue, let’s be clear on what exactly I am talking about: These days, everyone has been or is currently someone’s “f*ck buddy.” That’s not the type of relationship to which I refer. That one is made clear at the very beginning.
Rather, I'm referencing the instances when one party is continuously leading on the other. Are you interested in a guy but don’t know where you stand? Try to be cautious of the following warning signs:
1. You find yourself always texting him first.
Shouldn’t it be at least 50/50? If you always send the first text message, you may come across as needy, but in all actuality, it's not the case.
2. It’s been at least a month and you have yet to meet any of his friends.
I know people sometimes wait to make sure this person will stick around, but let’s be honest: You can only hold off so long.
3. He claims he can’t hang out because he has to get up early.
But then, on Facebook, it shows him being tagged at a bar with a group of people you don’t know. So, why lie?
4. It takes him a while to respond to your text but when you are together, he’s always on his phone.
5. You only get to see him when it’s convenient for him.
6. He rarely takes you anywhere in public; maybe he’s trying to keep his options open?
And, forget PDA, he can’t be seen holding hands with one girl while trying to flirt with another.
7. When you finally do get to hang out, it always ends with sex.
There is never a night without it. I mean, sex is fun, but there’s other stuff to do, too.
8. Communication is lacking.
Even after a couple months, it’s still you who instigates the majority of the conversations. And, nothing is more frustrating than one-word answers or short responses.
9. It’s always about his problems, not yours.
He will go on and on about issues at work and how much he hates his boss, but when you need to vent, he doesn’t have the time.
10. He’s all about you, but only when you're physically together.
He says stuff like, “You are so beautiful” and “I’ve missed you so much.” All the while, you’re thinking, "You could have seen me if you wanted to." However, when you’re apart, he suddenly becomes overly busy.
11. Finally, there’s the dreadful gut feeling that tells you to walk away.
Though it's the worst feeling ever, it's best to go with your gut.
Now, if you’re still unsure of the above reasons, there are ways to test it. The most common game is when you don’t contact him until he reaches out to you.
And, eventually, he will reach out, but you have to have the willpower not to give in immediately and wait a few minutes, then respond back. If you’re good, you won’t acknowledge it at all. This will make him wonder what’s going on.
Even better is when he calls and you don’t answer. Then, after a little while, call him back. You must make him sweat in order to learn whether you're on his mind. Try to remember that if he doesn’t give in, he doesn’t care.
You may think this is stupid, but let’s be honest: We all play games. We claim we hate them, but we still end up playing them.
Nonetheless, in all my experience, there’s one thing I’m sure of: If he is truly interested, he will demonstrate it. If he wants to talk to you, he will. If he wants to see you, he will find a way, and if he is proud of you, he will make it obvious to others you are his.
If you find yourself walking away, please keep in mind that if you stayed, you would be lowering your standards. Learn to let go of the idea of what it could be and remember what it is.
You deserve better, and one day, you will find a man who will never make you doubt his feelings. He will, however, make you doubt your past mindset. Life is too short to not be happy. Know there is always a silver lining, but you just have to be strong enough to find it.