Halloween is tricky holiday by nature especially by the time you hit your mid-20s. It's highly likely that you have already dressed up as everything you've ever wanted to be, along with some other costumes that you wish you had never worn.
So by the time this holiday comes around yet again, you are just exhausted and over it.
But as everyone knows, Halloween is just one of those holidays you can't ignore, much like New Year's Eve and Thanksgiving. So you suck it up, suck it in and drop well over $100 dollars on a costume and pray to the celebratory gods that someone else isn't rocking the same outfit.
As if finding a costume isn't difficult enough, top-heavy women have a struggle all their own.
Pre-packaged costumes are basically out of the question because those things never do fit properly and, honestly, the only place those were even remotely appropriate were back in college.
The struggle is all too real and this timeline will break it down for you.
1. You know exactly what you don't want to look like:
This is an absolute huge no-no when it comes to Halloween in your 20s. Actually, this is a huge deal breaker at every single age. Do not be this person — EVER.
2. But no matter what you decide on, no costume will ever really "fit" you:
Pre-packaged Halloween costumes are your ultimate nightmare. The only thing that ever ends up even fitting you are the accessories that come with it.
3. Even if you order your right size, things are just way too small
You ordered a costume that was the same size as everything else you own, but for some reason when you open it, it looks as if it was designed for a small child. This happens to you every year, but you just never seem to learn.
4. It looks even worse when you try to conceal your assets
Trying to downplay what you have on top is no easy feat. And honestly why should you have to do that anyway?
5. So you either look overly slutty or you end up suffocating yourself
There is no happy medium when it comes to Halloween...
6. Do you embrace your boobs while trying to be funny and clever?
It may sound good in theory, but it doesn't look that good when you try and execute it.
7. Probably not because that's just not a good look for anyone...
Halloween used to be "the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it"... but once you graduate from college, that excuse just simply doesn't cut it any longer.
8. So once again you find yourself back at square one, which somewhat resembles this:
Hmm, what to do? What to do?
9. Next idea: Recruit some friends and try and come up with a unique group outfit
Clever, but what happens when the chick in the middle gets separated from the pack?
10. But you must always be careful when deciding:
There is good attention and bad attention, so stop thinking that all attention is good attention.
11. Do you think this outfit would come with special effects?
I wonder if the creators of "Austin Powers" knew they were inspiring Halloween costumes for years to come.
12. You swear you will prepare better next year:
Even though you know this is a lie and you will find yourself in this exact same situation come next year.
13. So you are really left with just one choice and one choice only...
Because how else are you expected to tolerate a terribly uncomfortable and unflattering costume?
Top Photo Courtesy: Instagram