Most people love to hate her, and it’s not just because the only person who can’t seem to realize that Gwyneth Paltrow leads a seriously charmed life is Gwyneth Paltrow.
But with the recent announcement of her divorce from her husband of 10 years, Chris Martin, it might appear that we have more in common with Gwyneth than we ever thought before.
After all, most of us have felt the sting of a long-term relationship ending. Unfortunately for us, our breakup wasn’t with a Coldplay frontman who will likely be paying a pretty penny in alimony.
So, in honor of Gwyneth (and all those times she’s seemed super out of touch with reality), we’re breaking down the five reasons why and why not we’re alike.
She’s Playing Nice with an Ex
Why: You do this, right? Or at least you try. Throwing a head nod to your former hookup across the room in the club counts. RIP.
Why Not: She’s staying amicable with soon to be ex-hubby Martin via a family vacay down in the Caribbean. With two kids in tow, they went to a private island. Which they accessed via their private jet. Must be nice.
She’s Simply Trying to Maintain a Hot Bod
Why: With bikini season right around the corner (hopefully soon we’ll see it through all this rain), you’re slogging away countless hours in the gym. The good news? So is Gwyneth.
Why Not: She’s working it with her personal trainer/bestie, Tracy Anderson. With four co-produced exercise DVDs — each of which has sold over 20,000 copies in Britain alone — you know Gwyneth’s hours in the gym are probably equal to the time you’re sitting on your ass each day at your office desk. And no matter how hard you try, you’ll never have a better bod than she does at age 40. Over it.
She Tries to Eat Healthy
Why: So do we! For that aforementioned hot bikini bod. You don’t think we enjoy salad for every meal for real, do you?
Why Not: Gwynnie (can we call you that?) eats healthy all the time. She even wrote a book about it —“It’s All Good” — in which she lists some recipes including all her fave healthy foods, like goji berries and quail eggs. We’ll stick to the greens, but you do you, Gwynnie.
She Sometimes Just Isn’t Feeling the Scene
Why: Nothing is worse then getting all dressed up for a Friday night, only to be met with an entirely uninspiring going-out scene. Happens to the best of us. Just know when to call it a night and head home with your girls for the real fun.
Why Not: This happens to Gwyneth too, like that one time she went to the Met Gala. You could get on the list when hell freezes over, and her pink haute couture Valentino gown probably cost more than your college education. But Gwyneth was also miserable there! She later told USA Today: “I’m never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all.” She went home early to count her Birkin bags instead.
She Gives Great Life Advice
Why: If you’ve ever been the confidant your friend spilled the beans to about hooking up with another friend’s crush, or advised a fellow shopper on which jeans were more flattering, then you and Gwyneth already have more in common than you probably think. Ms. Paltrow runs Goop, a lifestyle blog that clutters its subscribers’ inboxes with all sorts of everyday guidance.
Why Not: Well, because frankly, Goop’s sole mission is likely just to prove Gwyneth’s life is better than yours. Goop is a platform for recommending the purchase of a $1,000+ bag for a last-minute weekend getaway, or suggesting recipes that include “salt from Mallorca that’s infused with hibiscus.” Unless Gwyneth’s sharing, we ain’t buying.
We might have our differences with the real Gwyneth Paltrow, but I can’t help but think after all this — I still love her. After all, she is, unabashedly, who she is. GP said it best (obviously):
“I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”
Photo Credit: WENN