I’m an avid believer in dressing the way I feel. On days I’m feeling super cynical, I usually go for an all-black ensemble. On days I’m feeling like anything can happen, I opt for my A-line pink, velvet skirt. Seriously, there's nothing more fun than expressing how much I'm loving (or hating) the world that day through my clothes.
But the way you dress isn't the only way to express yourself; the way you wear your hair is, too. I have friends who will strictly wear their hair down, which is kind of the default, I guess. My sister won't leave the house without curling or flat-ironing her hair because she knows she's going to wear it down regardless of how windy it gets outside, and it needs to look flawless. So it only makes sense she's a total GLAMzilla in everything she does; she won't settle for any less-than-Zagat-rated restaurant.
Then there are the women in my life who feel more comfortable in ponytails (ahem, me). What can I say? I get annoyed navigating the hustle and bustle of life with hair in my face. I unabashedly put my face on display for the world to see -- but I also happen to be the kind of girl that overshares. That, my friends, is no coincidence.
Here’s what YOUR go-to hairstyle says about the kind of girl you are:
Pinned high bun: Uptight bitch
The girl who rocks the high bun is exactly what you’d think she is: rigid in her ways. It’s her way or the highway. You know how I know this? Because 80% of the time, I am this girl. I know that no one can tell you what to do or how to do it.
It's not like you're this tightly wound, black hole of misery that no one wants to be around. You just know what you want and lay down the law accordingly, like my girl Kourtney Kardashian. No one will ever find you canceling your gym class to grab drinks with the girls instead, because you scheduled that sweat sesh, like, two weeks ago, and you're sticking to it, dammit.
Low pony or bun: A guys' girl
This hairstyle takes two seconds to do, and it’s reflective of just how chill you are. Still, you have a routine you like to follow because though you’re chill, you’re also set in your ways. Unlike the high-bun bitch’s routine, yours is laid-back and flexible. Your nighttime wind-down routine is lighting some incense, smoking some weed, and probably masturbating to a Halsey song.
I envy you gals in all your nonchalance. You're that girl in the movies who eats pizza and drinks beer with her guys friends but still manages to stay stick-thin. No one will ever find you scarfing down pizza, then screaming "I'm so fat!"
High ponytail: Flirty and youthful
You’re the girl every guy wants to wife and take home to his family. You’re the poor man’s Taylor Swift. Driven by your charming nature, you usually get the guy because of how down you are to try new activities. Still, you know how important it is to hold your own, and you won't tolerate disrespect. You're ~classy~ AF.
You're also the girl that every other girl gets along with. Basically, either everyone wants to be with you or get with you.
Unwashed: Reckless rebel
OK, you haven't washed your hair in days. I get it -- ain't no one got time for that. You DGAF about what anyone else thinks of you, whether it's your unapologetic nature or your greasy, going-on-a-week-unwashed head of hair. What they see is what they get.
Because you don't spend a ton of time on your hair, it frees you up to do other things. You're super passionate about something, whether it's killin' the high fashion game, or starting your own book club. People wonder how you get all your sh*t done.
French braid: Good girl
You’re too nice for your own good. You read "Why Men Love Bitches" to get a better sense of what the hell men want, but you won't follow the advice, because you don't want to play games. Not a fan of confrontation or speaking your truth, you tend to let people walk all over you because you’re that go-with-the-flow.
You're also a DAMN good baker, so go you.
Fishtail braid: Style maven
You aren’t afraid to try new things. You’re like my coworker, Zara, who will wear a vintage dress to work that's from the 1970s and looks like it came straight out of a British tea party.
Whether it’s about what you wear or who you’re willing to date, you’re just as diverse and daring as you are with your hair. You’ll wear a black studded collar to a day party and try on the f*ckboy on for size (just once), because why the f*ck not?
All down: Basic bitch
You might even be a little hesitant to show your face full-frontal to the world. If this is your go-to 'do, I'll bet just about anything that you also enjoy blacking out on Saturdays, doing yoga on Sundays, and wearing leggings to real-world events that actually matter.
You don’t use bobby pins or hair clips. You don’t need them. There's nothing about yourself you want to hide; you are basic and f*cking proud.
I hate to break it to you, but you are the Ariana Grande of the non-celeb world (yes, she's mega talented, but she is also a mega DIVA). You prefer your hair out of your face, but you still need some of it down to appease you when you need appeasing.
You date the good guy because you have no tolerance for the bad boy. You've never even craved him like most of your other friends have; you know how important it is to have a guy around that'd do anything for you at any moment's notice.