Crowd Control: 7 Things To Keep In Mind Before Moving In With A Friend
Before I moved out for the first time, my mom told me advice that I should’ve listened to: Never, ever move in with your best friend.
It’s not that friends don’t make good roommates.
Sure, you are already familiar with each other and know for a fact that you get along. But just because you two are buddy-buddy on girls’ nights and movie dates doesn’t mean you will make good roomies.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but living together poses a whole new set of challenges.
You’ll fight about things you never thought you’d fight about, like why there’s still curry-stained dishes in the sink or why there’s a weird dead fish smell wafting out of her room.
In those moments, the line between friends and roommates becomes blurred.
Sorry, but life isn’t a "Friends" episode. Living with your bestie is not going to be easier than living with strangers.
In fact, it’ll be even harder. Here are some things to keep in mind if you're debating the big move:
1. Your closet is her closet.
This goes both ways (hopefully), so if you two are the same pant, dress or shoe size, you’re basically going to be living in each other’s stuff.
Warning: There will be mornings where you spend 20 minutes looking for that Helmut Lang blazer that goes perfectly with your outfit only to have her tell you it’s been sitting in her closet all this time.
On the plus side, you have access to her super sexy club dresses and lipstick collection.
On the flip side, so does she — and eventually, something is either going to get lost, get ripped or get thrown up on, and you’re going to find yourself in the middle of a sample sale-fueled rage.
2. Say goodbye to privacy.
No matter how close you two were, living together is going to force you to be super close. Ever wanted a Siamese twin?
For one, you two will never be able to lie and say that you’re too busy for something: If you spent all day in your bed watching "Pretty Little Liars," she’ll know.
If you said you 'just got home,' she’ll know you’re really still out binge drinking. Tried fibbing you didn’t bring home a guy that night?
She knows you totally did, and oh, she knows you faked your orgasms, too. Your friends have a sixth sense about that kind of stuff. Don’t ask.
3. You’ll see her even if you don’t want to.
It doesn’t matter if you’re having one of those days where all you want to do is drink ginger ale and curl up under your covers: There will always be someone else there, and she’ll be all up in your face and demand to know what’s wrong.
The plus side of that? When you have a bad day, bad Tinder date or are dealing with drama, there’s always someone there to console you. Whether you want it or not.
4. You have to draw the line.
Moving in with a friend means that you will have two relationships with them: the friendship and the roommate-ship.
While you know that you get along as a girl gang, that camaraderie might not translate into apartment life.
For one, you guys have to be on each other’s ass about bills, rent and utilities. If your roomie is clogging up your WiFi speed with all her streaming and Spotify, you have to deal with that.
If she’s having really loud sex at 3 am every morning and you have to be up at 6 am for work, you have a right to be pissed (even though you’re totally happy that she’s getting some action).
5. It won’t always be a sleepover.
You loved braiding each other’s hair and watching "Orange is the New Black" until five in the morning when you two had your own separate places, so bringing the tradition over to a shared place sounds like it would be fun, right? Not exactly.
Sure, you might have those girly nights in every so often, but spending time apart or alone is absolutely crucial.
You will need to make separate friends and spend time just hanging out by yourself, too, otherwise you will end up resenting each other.
6. You’ll have a new enemy: money.
Unless both of you are trust fund babies, you’re going to spend a fair amount of time panicking about money.
It might be because it’s near the end of the month and you know you’re going to have to sell a kidney or some eggs to pay off your share of the rent.
You might still be battling student loans. You might be stuck eating ramen for a month straight.
The only thing worse than that? Your roommate coming home, carrying a new Alexander Wang bag or super expensive cupcakes from Dean & Deluca.
Sure, if she’s a good friend she might share, but nothing will stop you from turning fifty shades of oh-so flattering green.
Or it might be the other way around: Your roommate is pinching pennies and you want nothing more than to go on a shopping spree to celebrate your new promotion.
The amount of guilt you’ll feel when you come home with a giant bag from Sephora is not cute — that kind of stuff destroys friendships.
7. You will go apesh*t over food.
There is no rage quite like the rage that you get when you open the fridge only to find the chocolate pannacotta you saved since lunch has mysteriously disappeared.
Living with a roommate is great if you guys are good about splitting costs for things like eggs, milk and shredded parmesan to sprinkle over pasta.
In reality, someone will always end up paying more or less and the other person will get pissed (see exhibit 6: Money is your enemy.)
Bottom line: You can trust that b*tch with your life, but not with your hummus wrap.