Fall Hibernation: 99 Things That Are Absolutely Better Than Going Out Tonight

by Ashley Fern

The summer is finally over, which means our fall hibernation schedule can officially begin!

It's now more than socially acceptable to stay in under our blankets while we cuddle up to a nice glass of wine and our favorite television shows.

Going out, as you get older, becomes a real struggle, despite how social you perceive yourself to be, which is exactly why we advocate staying in on any and all occasions.

FOMO? Psh, that is just an invention made by others to peer pressure their friends into going out when they would really rather stay home.

So next time your friends try to convince you to get off your ass, you can provide them with this list of 99 things that are much better than hitting the bar.

1. Ordering Seamless

2. Sleeping

3. Binge watching Netflix

4. Facetiming with your best friend who lives across the country

5. Downing an entire bottle of wine on your couch

6. Having marathon sex with your boyfriend

7. Having marathon sex with anyone

8. Getting high and eating candy with your friends

9. Going to a movie

10. Not having a hangover

11. Remembering your night

12. Waking up at a reasonable hour

13. Not wondering what terrible decisions you made the night before

14. Your bed

15. Your couch

16. Your sweatpants

17. Not spending a ton of money

18. Your brain cells

19. Your skin elasticity

20. The health of your liver

21. Adhering to your diet

22. Your dignity

23. Being productive the following day

24. Your health

25. "Grey's Anatomy" marathons

26. All of the Housewives

27. Not wearing shoes

28. Chinese food

29. Ugly Snapchats

30. Visiting your family

31. Tinder

32. Candy Crush

33. Not showering

34. Your paycheck

35. Not having to do your hair

36. Being naked

37. Not being hit on by short men

38. Not wrestling with your eyeliner wings

39. Mac and Cheese

40. Your feet not hurting from high heels

41. Not damaging your hair with your straightener for another day in a row

42. Less laundry to do

43. Less dry cleaning to do

44. You get to pee on your own toilet

45. Reading that book you bought six months ago

46. Going to brunch the next day because you're not hungover

47. Pizza

48. Yom Kippur

49. Being productive the next morning

50. "Gilmore Girls" is now on Netflix

51. Ben And Jerry's

52. Bong rips

53. Saving an outfit

54. Bubble baths

55. Not getting dressed up

56. Not wearing a bra

57. Your G-pen

58. At home karaoke

59. Not seeing people

60. Not speaking to people

61. Not dealing with your crying friends

62. Porn

63. Even Adam Sandler's worst movies

64. Booty calls

65. The cool side of your pillow

66. Any surface on which you can be horizontal

67. The corner bodega

68. Your third order of Seamless

69. Not sleeping through your Seamless delivery

70. Not taking out your wallet

71. Leggings

72. Dancing around in your underwear, listening to Beyoncé

73. Reading Elite Daily

74. Putting together an outfit and not actually wearing it

75. Backstalking yourself on Facebook

76. Watching "Hocus Pocus"

77. Crying because you're single

78. Crying because you're in a relationship

79. Not wearing contacts

80. Cleaning your room

81. Reorganizing your closet

82. Stretching

83. Online shopping

84. "Law And Order: SVU" marathons

85. Getting high off your own ego

86. Tumblr-ing

87. Putting your headphones in and tuning out the world

88. Feeling depressed and sad for no reason

89. Watching terrible movies and hating yourself for liking them

90. Refreshing your Instagram feed while commending yourself for not going out

91. Did we already mention Seamless?

92. Watching the booty call texts come in while you're dead sober

93. Dunking your head in battery acid — too morbid?

94. Trying on all of your old clothes to see if they still fit

95. Filling up various online shopping carts with no intention of buying anything

96. Sitting on Ebay

97. Stalking your ex boyfriend's ugly new girlfriend

98. Convincing yourself you're prettier than she is

99. Absolutely everything

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It