Fall Hibernation: 99 Things That Are Absolutely Better Than Going Out Tonight
The summer is finally over, which means our fall hibernation schedule can officially begin!
It's now more than socially acceptable to stay in under our blankets while we cuddle up to a nice glass of wine and our favorite television shows.
Going out, as you get older, becomes a real struggle, despite how social you perceive yourself to be, which is exactly why we advocate staying in on any and all occasions.
FOMO? Psh, that is just an invention made by others to peer pressure their friends into going out when they would really rather stay home.
So next time your friends try to convince you to get off your ass, you can provide them with this list of 99 things that are much better than hitting the bar.
1. Ordering Seamless
2. Sleeping
3. Binge watching Netflix
4. Facetiming with your best friend who lives across the country
5. Downing an entire bottle of wine on your couch
6. Having marathon sex with your boyfriend
7. Having marathon sex with anyone
8. Getting high and eating candy with your friends
9. Going to a movie
10. Not having a hangover
11. Remembering your night
12. Waking up at a reasonable hour
13. Not wondering what terrible decisions you made the night before
14. Your bed
15. Your couch
16. Your sweatpants
17. Not spending a ton of money
18. Your brain cells
19. Your skin elasticity
20. The health of your liver
21. Adhering to your diet
22. Your dignity
23. Being productive the following day
24. Your health
25. "Grey's Anatomy" marathons
26. All of the Housewives
27. Not wearing shoes
28. Chinese food
29. Ugly Snapchats
30. Visiting your family
31. Tinder
32. Candy Crush
33. Not showering
34. Your paycheck
35. Not having to do your hair
36. Being naked
37. Not being hit on by short men
38. Not wrestling with your eyeliner wings
39. Mac and Cheese
40. Your feet not hurting from high heels
41. Not damaging your hair with your straightener for another day in a row
42. Less laundry to do
43. Less dry cleaning to do
44. You get to pee on your own toilet
45. Reading that book you bought six months ago
46. Going to brunch the next day because you're not hungover
47. Pizza
48. Yom Kippur
49. Being productive the next morning
50. "Gilmore Girls" is now on Netflix
51. Ben And Jerry's
52. Bong rips
53. Saving an outfit
54. Bubble baths
55. Not getting dressed up
56. Not wearing a bra
57. Your G-pen
58. At home karaoke
59. Not seeing people
60. Not speaking to people
61. Not dealing with your crying friends
62. Porn
63. Even Adam Sandler's worst movies
64. Booty calls
65. The cool side of your pillow
66. Any surface on which you can be horizontal
67. The corner bodega
68. Your third order of Seamless
69. Not sleeping through your Seamless delivery
70. Not taking out your wallet
71. Leggings
72. Dancing around in your underwear, listening to Beyoncé
73. Reading Elite Daily
74. Putting together an outfit and not actually wearing it
75. Backstalking yourself on Facebook
76. Watching "Hocus Pocus"
77. Crying because you're single
78. Crying because you're in a relationship
79. Not wearing contacts
80. Cleaning your room
81. Reorganizing your closet
82. Stretching
83. Online shopping
84. "Law And Order: SVU" marathons
85. Getting high off your own ego
86. Tumblr-ing
87. Putting your headphones in and tuning out the world
88. Feeling depressed and sad for no reason
89. Watching terrible movies and hating yourself for liking them
90. Refreshing your Instagram feed while commending yourself for not going out
91. Did we already mention Seamless?
92. Watching the booty call texts come in while you're dead sober
93. Dunking your head in battery acid — too morbid?
94. Trying on all of your old clothes to see if they still fit
95. Filling up various online shopping carts with no intention of buying anything
96. Sitting on Ebay
97. Stalking your ex boyfriend's ugly new girlfriend
98. Convincing yourself you're prettier than she is
99. Absolutely everything
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
