Dear Mom: 9 Reasons Why I Love You, Even If I Don't Tell You Enough

by Lauren Martin

I’ve always hated Mother’s Day.

Not because I hate showering you with attention and praise, but because on one day of the year I’m supposed to show you exactly how much you mean to me.

After everything you’ve done for me — the opportunities you’ve handed me, the countless mood swings you’ve endured from me, the life you’ve given up for me — I’m supposed to send you a card with flowers, and that’s supposed to be enough?

Flowers, cards and massage gift certificates do not get my point across. Taking you out to dinner won’t do it justice. Buying you balloons isn’t going to inflate my point. All of it seems so… trite.

A Hallmark card won’t ever be able to explain exactly why I love you.

Exactly why I’m proud to call you my mom. Exactly how grateful I am for you.

Instead, I’ll just tell you.

I’ll tell you exactly why I respect you, not try and fit it into some two-by-two-inch card.

I will tell you exactly what I should say every day of every month of every year. I’ll tell you exactly why I love you.

1. You’ve given up everything for me and still want to give me more

You’ve given up your wants, desires and needs for my own. You’ve given up your ambitions, dreams and future plans for my shot at them.

You’ve given me everything I don’t just need, but anything I could ever want.

2. You care for me enough to get mad at me, but will always forgive me

Even though you hate being the bad guy, you take on the role because it keeps the play going.

You take the fights and the mean words and the hateful stares because you love me enough to take it.

You choose to be hated for a moment if that means I don’t ruin the rest of my life. You forgive me for never understanding your motives and you never question mine.

3. You support my every move no matter how bold it is

I can be starry-eyed, obsessive and spontaneous, but you ground me without dashing my dreams.

You know what’s possible and what’s going to hurt me yet still manage to assuage my fanciful ambitions.

You support me no matter what, even if that means standing by while I make a mistake.

4. You inherently believe in me, even when I don’t believe in myself

You have more faith in my failures than I have in myself. You watch me tear myself apart, sabotage every opportunity and still think of me as a success.

You pick me up from every hole I put myself in and dust me off without looking at the mess I’ve made.

5. You're there when all my other relationships are falling apart

You’re my rock with a comfortable blanket on top. You’re always there for me, standing strong, yet providing comfort and wisdom.

Even though I treat you worse than any of my “friends,” you’re always there to defend me. You don’t hold my bad moods against me or take yours out on me — you just understand.

6. You’ve been my best friend through every friend I’ve had

Through all the countless relationships I thought would be the one, you’ve stood silently in the background, ready to accept me again with open arms.

Through every bad friendship, bad breakup and worse enemy, you’ve been there. You’re the one friend I can count on, even if I treat you like the enemy.

7. You let me be my most vulnerable self

After hours, days and weeks of putting on a brave face, you let me take it off. There is no show with you, no performance, no acting.

You don’t just let me be my true self, you expect me to be. You’re like a needed breath of fresh air after swimming for hours in a pool of bullsh*t.

8. You’re the only person who genuinely wants me to talk about myself all the time

You’re the most selfless person in the world dealing with the (sometimes) most selfish. You don’t just let me vent; you center every conversation around me.

Your days are centered around how my days are, and your worries are weighed on mine. You don’t take me out to dinner to talk about yourself; you take me out to hear about my life.

You’re the only person who doesn't just listen to me all the time, but wants to make it about me all the time.

9. You try to see where I’m coming from, even when you disagree with me

You’re the only person who takes it from both sides, hoping the other side wins. You may not agree with everything I do, but you try your best to understand why I do them.

You aren’t judgmental; you’re careful. You aren’t biased; you’re wise. You aren’t out to get me; you’re out to help me.